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Post subject: Midas
PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 10:16 am 
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Hidden beneath pyramids the lyricist of desire
mysterious fire rising out of the furious defier
striking with Zeus' guidance the hero of Posiedon
keeping zeroes dividing shining like the pharoahs diamonds
the scarecrows divine, drawing straws from barrels of 9's
trading cards with the stars, trading scars with the heart
trading ours with the bars, making art with the departed
the souls beneath me are kinda like the souls that beseach me
tellin' me keeping death in mind is more like a teaching
tho' I never learned I feel as if my mind grows like a weakling
forever feeding, forever eating, so gluttony is my defeat
buggin' me in the streets like my own thuggery is complete
but thuggin' it ain't me so I keep the thought of Midas touching my dreams

...my bad I messed up towards the end
PEACE

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Post subject: Re: Midas
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2009 3:26 am 
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i could be wrong here but isn't zeus a greek god and midas an egyptian king.
if so then u made a little error havin them in the same rhyme.

no hate.


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Post subject: Re: Midas
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 7:16 am 
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I see...well to clarify it, I was doing it outta spite
you know a conflicting interest, words of wisdom and whatnot

if it doesn't make sense maybe I've accomplished somethin'
if it did then I think I myself would be lost?

otherwise.....that comment in no way makes up for flow, multi's, etc.
I would appreciate the comments

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Post subject: Re: Midas
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 8:30 am 
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"trading cards with the stars, trading scars with the heart
trading ours with the bars, making art with the departed" -- I really liked that bar QZ.

Overall it was a Rakim kind of flow. Some syllables in the multi's fell off at the end.. but not a bad piece. Kept me interested.

Riggz

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Post subject: Re: Midas
PostPosted: Tue Nov 17, 2009 11:59 pm 
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Sin'Tense wrote:
i could be wrong here but isn't zeus a greek god and midas an egyptian king.
if so then u made a little error havin them in the same rhyme.

no hate.

Midas was in greek mythology though.

Ynoticed that you messed up a little at the end. Not to bad though. Flow was good at first though. Multies were above average. Good shit.

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