RND 1 - Future VS JDR *JDR wins 5-2*

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RND 1 - Future VS JDR *JDR wins 5-2*

Post by Alvin »

4 BARS

24 Hours to CHECK in, OR you will be replaced....

48 Hours to drop your verse.

HOUSE RULES

(The Loser of this round, will be first in line to substitute if he/she chooses to do so later this tournament.)
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by JDR »

Check...
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Future »

check



so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"

ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"

whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"

i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"


bar explanations

1. shining = Jack Nickleson movie
2. Renee "Olstead" sings "hit the road jack"
3. INCUBUS is a demon that has sex with sleeping people
4. Capt Jack Sparrow and spear zeros = stab losers
Last edited by Future on Sun Nov 13, 2011 6:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by JDR »

Time to throw those fist

Look..

You gettin' Controlled like Madden Players, Jack a Savoir while Future be History when we Know the Past is Later
Leave you Froze like Alaskan Glaziers, if he the Future then lets Stick to the Present like Bows and Wrappin' Paper

Punches get Broke like Glass in Layers, this rookie exposed, Buckled Up, Period! like Pussy in Clothes
Classless lyrics, he playin' Hookie wit Flows, and it aint hard to Tell Future's Fake like Whoopi in Ghost

Look at this joke, text will trouble you, it litterally puts this nigga to Test like a Fuckin' School
Leavin' sonny a Mess like a Public Pool, juss to T's Off fuTure, end up Next to the Double U

Have you Losin' ya breath the way Couples Do, Punches naturally stuck to ya chest like Boobies to a Lady
I'm Laughin' Kidd, like actin' Goofy to a Baby, and then turn my Back to the Future, like the Movie in the 80s

Smh.. :shhh:
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Enders »

Future wrote:check



so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"

yo man, the nickleson play is insane. After I read this first bar... I was like HOLY SHIT, JACK MIGHT LOSE! This is one of the coolest bars I've read aimed at Jack since he and Scott did their thing.

ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"

Tire, holes, flat, hitting the road, cool word play but rather played. The hit the road jack concept played as well, but tieing in Olstead made it more YOURS if you would. Overall played but nicely played.

whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"

hahajaajajaja with the gayness. I do admire the incubus wording, sig reference, and multies. Pretty good bar man. Your concepts are pretty fresh man. Shits dope


i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"

LMFAO, overall good bar man. The name plays into perfect wording is fresh man, BUT I don't really like this as fully as I do the rest of your verse. The spear O's and sparrow was kind of a stretch for me, by accent of my own is my guess.
bar explanations

1. shining = Jack Nickleson movie
2. Renee "Olstead" sings "hit the road jack"
3. INCUBUS is a demon that has sex with sleeping people
4. Capt Jack Sparrow and spear zeros = stab losers


You were a suprise, you really were man. Your opening bar by far was your best IMO. the closer was a cool concept, but not as strong as you started. Fucking killer shit man. Lets see Jacks now.
[ Post made via Android ] Image


JDR wrote:Time to throw those fist

Look..

You gettin' Controlled like Madden Players, Jack a Savoir while Future be History when we Know the Past is Later
Leave you Froze like Alaskan Glaziers, if he the Future then lets Stick to the Present like Bows and Wrappin' Paper

line one like whoa... the flip on itself was pretty bass ass, no lie. BUUUUT, the wrapping paper concept with the present... prolly the most played thing I've read thus far... and I'm not even that "vet" of a rapper. The rhyme scheme and line 1 lets me say this was a good bar, but not as good opener as I would have hoped.

Punches get Broke like Glass in Layers, this rookie exposed, Buckled Up, Period! like Pussy in Clothes
Classless lyrics, he playin' Hookie wit Flows, and it aint hard to Tell Future's Fake like Whoopi in Ghost

I'm just going to say, I'm dumb and spare you cuz I don't really get this. Be happy I'm honest. Anyhow, not really sure how future is fake period. Its quite the opposite really. The vachina, period, pretty cool, but I can't say I'm fully feeling this bar.


Look at this joke, text will trouble you, it litterally puts this nigga to Test like a Fuckin' School
Leavin' sonny a Mess like a Public Pool, juss to T's Off fuTure, end up Next to the Double U


see this I get. The name flip was dope on this, quite creative. took my dumb ass a bit to connect double u to W lol. Erno. Although that play was cool, I can't really say I was too impressed with the "ur dumb, fail a test in school".


Have you Losin' ya breath the way Couples Do, Punches naturally stuck to ya chest like Boobies to a Lady
I'm Laughin' Kidd, like actin' Goofy to a Baby, and then turn my Back to the Future, like the Movie in the 80s

nice closer man, rhyme scheme was nice, although I don't get why the end rhyme is so different than the inners. Still, I liked it, kind of a fancy way to say, "Next".

Smh.. :shhh:

All in all, both are beast, and would do great against anyone

But only one can win.

Jack, u were good man, like usual, but I think you were a bit surpassed on this match up man. U were consistent, good rhymeschemes, punches, but future came a bit more solid in those angles, as well as creativity and concepts. I won't lie, I didn't want to vote for the same reason everyone else is stalling, this can go either way, and its hard to judge such good writers. But I'm no pussy, so MVGT FUTURE. Good job both of you. I hope I never have to face uz lol.

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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by ILLoKWENT »

so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^liked this bar, and concept flip landed..

ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^the wordplay is a bit forced, old dead and oldstead when spoken just doesnt sound the same so its a bit of a stretch.so the end flip doesnt work.

whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^internal multis in your setup are irrelevant filler imo... the wordplay works but, kinda falls flat..couldve reworded the concept to 'fuck wit me while sleepin', because as it stands , it could be interpetd as a gay joke... ink you bus is kinda irrelevant being that this is a text format,

i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^i like the wordplay with jack and spear o's, but it relies too heavily on the expo imo, wouldve had more of an impact if the flip was more self explanatory... but probably your second best two lines...



You gettin' Controlled like Madden Players, Jack a Savoir while Future be History when we Know the Past is Later
Leave you Froze like Alaskan Glaziers, if he the Future then lets Stick to the Present like Bows and Wrappin' Paper

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^concept present and bows wrappin flip, is a bit played,

Punches get Broke like Glass in Layers, this rookie exposed, Buckled Up, Period! like Pussy in Clothes
Classless lyrics, he playin' Hookie wit Flows, and it aint hard to Tell Future's Fake like Whoopi in Ghost

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^setup, reads a bit awkward, like your putting in short statements in between the commas, not one smooth continous idea in a sentence, pussy , period flip is played
next line i thought it was a nice concept to flip, for peeps that dont get it, intially whoopi's character was a fake fortune teller slash psichic,


Look at this joke, text will trouble you, it litterally puts this nigga to Test like a Fuckin' School
Leavin' sonny a Mess like a Public Pool, juss to T's Off fuTure, end up Next to the Double U

sonny a mess was aight, and the just to t's nameplay was forced imo, are you saying just to tease off future? flip, was an ok wordplay, but concept weakend it..


Have you Losin' ya breath the way Couples Do, Punches naturally stuck to ya chest like Boobies to a Lady
I'm Laughin' Kidd, like actin' Goofy to a Baby, and then turn my Back to the Future, like the Movie in the 80s

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^probably your best bars, but the lines a bit stretched as far as with the rhyme scheme, usually id transition then drop a multi, to keep the syllable count shorter, ex..

ya losin breath the way couples do, when ya FOOL WIT MY GAME SEE, punches 'stuck to ya chest' like BOOBIES TO A LADY, but i'll act GOOFY TO THIS BABY, and laugh at this kid then turn my back to the future like MOVIES IN THE 8OS......



punches - jdr, he basicaly had more per bar, in his setups as well as end lines, im assuming your runnin the long bar rhyme scheme.

personals-tie, you both had a fair number of nameflips

multis, jdr, consistantly complex in each bar, future, you kinda fell off in the middle with 3 syllable ,

flow- eh, i think future edged it a mainly because his internal multis were somewhat closer to gether, and made the flow smoother imo,,,


my vote goes to jdr, for more consistency in the categories.... any questions feel free to pm me..



one more gripe i had with your verse jdr, is the usage of 'like' in so many of your flips,,, maybe one or two but it was like in pretty much every line, which became redundant,,, good flips when worded clever, dont need to use like to link the analogy imo.... try to avoid it whenever possible and your verse will be alot stronger ...... but what do i know, im just a newb...lol
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Quix »

so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"

I liked this bar a lot 4.5/5 creative,d irect...and TBH i havn't seen a nickelson punch used against jack.

ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"

ummm, no doggy...Hit the road punches are a tad played...not to mention this bar was just a tad streched. 3/5

whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"

umm, i can go either way on this bar, the incubusplays are a bit played but i liked your flip and wording. Punch was direct

3.5/5

i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"

mhe, not your best bar and not s very good closer for a cempetitor like JDR.

3/5




JDR


You gettin' Controlled like Madden Players, Jack a Savoir while Future be History when we Know the Past is Later
Leave you Froze like Alaskan Glaziers, if he the Future then lets Stick to the Present like Bows and Wrappin' Paper

haha nice bar right here. Had a nice punch, flow, nameplay...and creativity. good shit 4.5/5

Punches get Broke like Glass in Layers, this rookie exposed, Buckled Up, Period! like Pussy in Clothes
Classless lyrics, he playin' Hookie wit Flows, and it aint hard to Tell Future's Fake like Whoopi in Ghost

another bar that flowed near perfectly. Punch again was very creative, and direct.

4/5

Look at this joke, text will trouble you, it litterally puts this nigga to Test like a Fuckin' School
Leavin' sonny a Mess like a Public Pool, juss to T's Off fuTure, end up Next to the Double U

i see where you were going with this. this could've been near pefection if it was worded a bit better. How? i have nooo idea. but it just seemed a tad choppy to me.

3.5/5

Have you Losin' ya breath the way Couples Do, Punches naturally stuck to ya chest like Boobies to a Lady
I'm Laughin' Kidd, like actin' Goofy to a Baby, and then turn my Back to the Future, like the Movie in the 80s

hahah this was funny. not very creative though. Seen a lot of the back to the future lines. But you worded it nice and fliped it on him nicely too.

4/5


OVERALL
JDR 16/20
Future 14/20



MVGT JDR
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Enlightend »

Future...

so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"

i thought this was ur best punch, i came across very clever, wording and rhyme scheme was good... i did stumble a bit at the end of the first line but it was prolly just me 5/5


ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"

i like where you were going with this and it was a good complex set up "poke holes/goes flat/hit the road..." but "olstead" was a bit of a stretch so it took away from the punch itself... so 3/5

whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"

lmao... where's ur "no homo"... i see where u were going with this and the concept is real sick but if worded right could have been sooooo much better and ur fist line other then multis and flow was lacking substance 3/5

i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"

i actually like this line wordplay was real creative and it worked for me, and it flowed almost perfect 4/5

overall 15/20



vs


Jack...

You gettin' Controlled like Madden Players, Jack a Savoir while Future be History when we Know the Past is Later
Leave you Froze like Alaskan Glaziers, if he the Future then lets Stick to the Present like Bows and Wrappin' Paper

this was nice flow was on point and name flip was cool a lil played but u worded it well... 4/5


Punches get Broke like Glass in Layers, this rookie exposed, Buckled Up, Period! like Pussy in Clothes
Classless lyrics, he playin' Hookie wit Flows, and it aint hard to Tell Future's Fake like Whoopi in Ghost

pussy period punches have been played since 04... but the second line was real nice... wish u had a better set up though 4/5

Look at this joke, text will trouble you, it litterally puts this nigga to Test like a Fuckin' School
Leavin' sonny a Mess like a Public Pool, juss to T's Off fuTure, end up Next to the Double U

ok this i really didnt like much... the wording was a mess imo... test/school punches are horribly played and "t's off future" sounds very unnatural 2/5

Have you Losin' ya breath the way Couples Do, Punches naturally stuck to ya chest like Boobies to a Lady
I'm Laughin' Kidd, like actin' Goofy to a Baby, and then turn my Back to the Future, like the Movie in the 80s

first line is real stretched... back to future concept is played... but it still hit for me prolly the second lines wording so... and 3/5

overall 13/20

_______________________________________

so MVGT FUTURE... but this took me a long ass time for 8 bars... it was a real close battle from a couple of elite text battlers
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Komatose »

Quick Breakdown. Pretty Good Battle Both Had Some Good Bars.


Flow-Tie. Both Were Pretty Smooth Easy To Follow.
Punches-JDR Had Harder Hitting Punches To Me His Landed Alot More Than Not.
Multies-Future Took This But Not By Much I Think His Multies Were Fluent An Went Together Smooth But Basic In A Sense.
Personals-Tie.Neither Had Anything Id Call Real Hard Hitting To Run Away With This Category.
Nameplay-Future Took This By A Decent Margin More Content vs JDR In This Category.
Wordplay-JDR I Believe Took This With More Complex Schemes An Set Ups To His Wordplay.
Creativity-Both Had Some Creative Content To There Verse This Was Close To Say. Tie.
Complexity-Id Say JDR Edged This Category Just Throughout His Verse I Believe He Consistently Was Complex Where Future Wasnt.
Enjoyment/Entertainment-Tie This Was A Very Good Battle/Read An Was A Close Call So That Makes It All The Better.
Originality-JDR
Format/Structure-Idk Id Say Future Is The Style Im Use To Reading But JDR Wasnt Bad But Future Gets This Category..

Ok Like I Been Saying This Is A Close Battle Punches&Wordplay Go To JDR But Multies&Nameplay Go To Future. So The Vote Is Coming Down To Who I Thought Had The Better Verse. Which I Think JDR Takes This With More Consistent Content I Believe Future's Beginning&End Was His Best Part Of His Verse But Didnt Have That Great Of Middle To The Verse. It Was A Nice Battle Dope Verses On Both Sides But My Vote Goes To JDR Edged It.
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Quix »

3-2 JDR


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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Komatose »

so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"
............................................................
i liked this opener multies are fluent an the flip was good.

ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"
............................................................
i agree with ILL on the old dead/olstead made the bar kind of awkward but i liked the end attempted flip.


whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"
............................................................
decent multies no real flip nothing really here.


i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"
............................................................
again pretty good multies an good flip but could of landed harder




you see i liked the verse an the opener&finisher was good but the mid lines were to inconsistent & lack of hard hitting flip&punch.

jack seemed more concentrated on punches an flips consistently which is why he got my vote
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Defiance »

-Punches- JDR
-Flow-JDR
-Personals-Tie
-Multis-Tie
-Enjoyment-JDR

MVGT- JDR

just enjoyed his verse more plain an simply..
good battle though it really was close
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by Quix »

4-2 JDR

uppin..
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by probablyTreed »

im not the best judge, but i liked jdr's better, maybe its because im a punchline kind of guy, they just hit me harder and easier than futures. JDRs reads more confident too
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Re: RND 1 - Future VS JDR

Post by JDR »

Thx 4 peepin' & votin'.

It's nice to draw a quality opponent in the first round. I never read much of futures drops but thought he dropped a quality verse so I'll be peepin' him more in the future (no pun intended ha)

Good battle kidd
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