Hip Hop Forum

im revising my battle verses to see if they are improved and to see if it woulda been a better verse feed plz

1st verse against hazard

Ill K.O. you ina cat sweep, you'll-see-mirrorn-lists, o shit now your-seen-fearn-this...*
only if ya put "sour cream" on your spits, are you a supreme-lyricist//**

This jobs easy i don't need-a-vacation, ya always wantin a "myspace" to feed-off-relations...***
I know "hazard's signs", so no need to "trip hazard" "mind ya head hazard" before a "sudden drop" leaves ya in "deep-excavations"//****

I couldn't care less of da win while ya on da floor-pacen, why is it you always duck who your-facen...*****
we all know how "Uconn"(you con) so we know where your-placen, cuz ill leave ya "upset" like my name was "George-Mason"//******

I would hate for someone to reflect-ya-stunts, you only go under da belt so i'll deflect-ya-punts...
ya in a pussy "state" of mind, so ill take a knife and infect-ya-cunts, den tear it to ya ass to "connect-da-cuts"//(connecticut)

ima take it and revise it tell me if you think it was overall stronger...

youll-see-mirrorin lists, from the k.o, i kno your-fearin-this...
only wit sour cream on your spits, are you a supreme-lyricist//

so mind ya head hazard, do ya need-a-vacation...
cuz a sudden drop could leave ya in deep-excavations//

usin myspace to feed-off-relations, cuz dats how "Uconn" but we know where your-placen...
im like a mirror you cant duck who your-facen, now ur upset like my name was george mason//

now ur on da floor-pacen, ur ina pussy state cuz i won't reflect-ya-stunts...
didn't you know thats y it was placed for "connect-in-cunts"(connecticuts)//

ok after the 2nd verse do you think it is a better improvement... plz leave feed and do you think the structure is overall better and the flow let me know...

youll-see-mirrorin lists, from the k.o, i kno your-fearin-this...
only wit sour cream on your spits, are you a supreme-lyricist//

Lmao This is Kind Of Funny in a Wierd Way

so mind ya head hazard, do ya need-a-vacation...
cuz a sudden drop could leave ya in deep-excavations//

That's just Weak you Need To Throw That Filler Type Shit Away

usin myspace to feed-off-relations, cuz dats how "Uconn" but we know where your-placen...

Ok Coming With A Feather Personal..But The UConn Shit Doesnt Execute.. Where Is My Placen.. LoL If U Had Tied That in..


im like a mirror you cant duck who your-facen, now ur upset like my name was george mason//

Wtf.. No..Just Kick This to the Side

now ur on da floor-pacen, ur ina pussy state cuz i won't reflect-ya-stunts...

More Filler


didn't you know thats y it was placed for "connect-in-cunts"(connecticuts)//

Wow How Far Off & Forced...


Constructive Crid 4 U.

thanks i was wonderin should i use the set up i used in the 2nd verse... was the flow better i know the verse was weak i was just tryn to improve on flow ans structure