leeroi green Hip-Hop-apotomus

[leeroi green]

I was at the bottom when, left without a pot to piss,
and feel like I survived the worst of what the world has got to give,
and walked away unscathed to everyones astonishment,
went mano y mano with fear and conquered it,
it's a god given gift man this is what my calling is,
I eat breathe and bleed hip-hop the only thing I've got is this,
I pour out my soul and leave every single drop in this,
apocalypse will come and go before I think to call it quits,
I'll never leave hip-hop again, it's obvious I'm Optimus,
I transform the game and keep it poppin like a klonopin,
I'm hotter than, phospherous, napalm or lava is,
a hip-hop-apotamus, so who you call yourself brawlin with,
stoppin is preposterous, better take your pride and swallow it,
I've got to win, acknowledge it, and excersize some common sense,
recognize the consiquence, there only two options kid,
grab a towel toss it in, or end up like apollo did,

easy.

[FlipSide]

stoppin is preposterous, better take your pride and swallow it,
I've got to win, acknowledge it, and excersize some common sense,

Bar was def having some flow to it

it's a god given gift man this is what my calling is,
I eat breathe and bleed hip-hop the only thing I've got is this,

I Think This Was A Good Bar Here Too.. Just Speaks For The Love Of The Game ... I Like That

Well U Had Good Flow Thru Out.. A Couple Of Places U Couldve Added Some Metas Or Word Play To Make It More Eye Catching.. Nonetheless This Was A Tight Drop.. Overused Subject And Blah Blah.. But Damn Sun That Green Shit Will Get u No Comments.. Its Like Looking Into The Sun

[IntrinsicCadence]

You got a good flow with this one, and a couple of bars are real solid, especially at the beginning. I appreciate the path of overcoming obstacles and coming out stronger, but I wasn't feelin your lines that were basically just expressin how cool you think you are. Whenever I read shit of people tooting their own horn I really feel like it's a fake confidence that covers up someone's reality and maybe lack of real confidence. I don't know if that's what your doin here, maybe not, but that's just what I always think when I read shit about people who over express how cool they think they are.

[leeroi green]

good feed IC thats the type of shit that'll help me grow thanks

[Kuhlerblynd]

I liked the flow and vocabulary. You did well with that and held the flow throughout, which was nice. Not sure whats up with the green text, but I can see what Flip means lol. Sometimes the words started blending together. I agree with IC to the fullest on this one, it was too much like a self-hype type of piece, which is cool for that shit on the radio, but doesnt really give you acclaim as a writer. Expand your horizons with you concepts more, mix some wordplay in or some bad ass imagery, and you should be doing great for yourself.

P.S. Not sure if you realize this or not, but if you're looking to battle, that self-hype stuff isnt going to be all that effective there either. Just an FYI. One.

-- Tue Oct 05, 2010 3:35 pm --

Ay, did you get that Hip Hop apotamus shit from Flight of the Conchords?

[TheNobleOne]

nice fuckin flow to this shit yo

[leeroi green]

thanks for the feed i need it sorry about the green text i felt like i was hulking on this one but it is better to be humble its just that i feel like i should be a household name i really take the time to read replies and i apply all that i learn and hopefully i will have something to contribute as well -----BE EASY-----

[Kau the Lion]

Ay, did you get that Hip Hop apotamus shit from Flight of the Conchords?

I was wondering that myself. Maybe his next drop will be titled Rhymenocerous.

[Defiance]

jesus how do you do this1!!!!!

nah man it was a dope concept. reminds me alot of how i write.. which is refreshing.. good flow solid vocab, no real message accept in about 6 bars

but i liked it dude it was fun to read

[MonuMental]

Yo man, ish was sick and it went hard. Nothin really to give advice on. It's your flow and it was on point. It may be played out, but if all you got comin to the dome is how dope you are, write it homie. All material is workable material.

[QwarterZ]

This was a nice piece, a good switch up from what I've seen
though it's old it still had a slick vibe to it
a certain cockiness and fluent flow, keep it...
well....do what you gotta man, lol...peace

[Mitty]

So sick makes me want to spit something off it yo. What crew you in?

[leeroi green]

thanks it means a lot to read that

THE ACADEMY

[MonuMental]

It flowed like mofo, had some sick vocab and some decent multies. It was, as stated above, sort of a self hype piece, but I ain't downin on no man for shit that I've done myself. The Apollo line had me rollin. Lol. It was an enjoyable read, if you ask me.

[Seansprague13]

I'm new to this site and i liked what i read. It was easy to read and really flowed. i'm not really at a level to critique man, but that was on fire.