Tired (Spoken)
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- Alvin
- Sudonim Free
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Tired (Spoken)
Community Service:
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/coleo ... ml#p176198
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/life- ... 22923.html
Well, Like it or not, I do.
Had some spare time so I closed my eyes and didn't care for the rules. You ever just write? To see where your pencil takes you? Free of edits or structure or anything?
Lyrics:
I've seen the earth cry - Im not talking about the rain-we die to have our souls trace your name - hoping you dont change- i can almost see you in the distance - but each inch is pain- we reach in us see images of- your face- but the truth is you have found things to replace the void- its a trip to picture myself as you and implement those thoughts- but im expecting too much thinking youd let those cross- lets remove the mask and expose the truth-im spec of dust - and ill never amount to your views-its not that you set the bar too high - Its simply i never cared to try- so even though the right isnt mine to cry- ill cry till the world drowns in my failed motivation- cuz that i can blame on someones lack of attention- in fact let me step back to mention-nothing is something without an origin < common sense- i never liked your apples so let me stick this orange in < bwahahaha- cuz to speak of my past is past the cliched white elephant- i just spoke in cliches & i hope you keep up with what i meant- yes its all relevant no no truth is under embellishment- im just embarrassed to plainly state-
The words amy sings are engraved onto my soul- and as much as i fight them they keep hold, i tried to minimize the pain but only to watch them bold- It capitalized my entire youth - leaving a hole- in whole i blacked out maybe 98%-but the remaining two was enough to damage the rest-with anguish and stress and enough pressure to crush in my chest- i said i was fine but the doctors interest grew as my story revealed- he questioned a quest to self destruct but i honestly didnt have enough- intellect to catch on to his drift, so i paddled my boat though there agenda- zoloft prozac, locked up, knocked me off my boat just to clear my throat with a big so what- like a shook up soda i exploded but closed- now i have this locked box that vents in my soul that no one can hold- yes its all relevant no no truth is under embellishment- im just embarrassed to plainly state-
Ive bled 40 punches past the circles im speaking/
13 years of exactly the same beatings//
in church jesus's teachings told me i am his son/
but im thinking he wasn't speaking to me, cuz im yet to feel like one//[/color]
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/coleo ... ml#p176198
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/life- ... 22923.html
Well, Like it or not, I do.
Had some spare time so I closed my eyes and didn't care for the rules. You ever just write? To see where your pencil takes you? Free of edits or structure or anything?
Lyrics:
I've seen the earth cry - Im not talking about the rain-we die to have our souls trace your name - hoping you dont change- i can almost see you in the distance - but each inch is pain- we reach in us see images of- your face- but the truth is you have found things to replace the void- its a trip to picture myself as you and implement those thoughts- but im expecting too much thinking youd let those cross- lets remove the mask and expose the truth-im spec of dust - and ill never amount to your views-its not that you set the bar too high - Its simply i never cared to try- so even though the right isnt mine to cry- ill cry till the world drowns in my failed motivation- cuz that i can blame on someones lack of attention- in fact let me step back to mention-nothing is something without an origin < common sense- i never liked your apples so let me stick this orange in < bwahahaha- cuz to speak of my past is past the cliched white elephant- i just spoke in cliches & i hope you keep up with what i meant- yes its all relevant no no truth is under embellishment- im just embarrassed to plainly state-
The words amy sings are engraved onto my soul- and as much as i fight them they keep hold, i tried to minimize the pain but only to watch them bold- It capitalized my entire youth - leaving a hole- in whole i blacked out maybe 98%-but the remaining two was enough to damage the rest-with anguish and stress and enough pressure to crush in my chest- i said i was fine but the doctors interest grew as my story revealed- he questioned a quest to self destruct but i honestly didnt have enough- intellect to catch on to his drift, so i paddled my boat though there agenda- zoloft prozac, locked up, knocked me off my boat just to clear my throat with a big so what- like a shook up soda i exploded but closed- now i have this locked box that vents in my soul that no one can hold- yes its all relevant no no truth is under embellishment- im just embarrassed to plainly state-
Ive bled 40 punches past the circles im speaking/
13 years of exactly the same beatings//
in church jesus's teachings told me i am his son/
but im thinking he wasn't speaking to me, cuz im yet to feel like one//[/color]
- complexity
- Elevated
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
Are you kidding me?
I expected something cool.
This was fucking awesome!
Mad replay value. I surely didn't catch all it was saying.
I expected something cool.
This was fucking awesome!
Mad replay value. I surely didn't catch all it was saying.
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- Poetically Speaking
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
wow im really feeling this it was one of the better audios i have heard posted on a forum..... and for a spoken piece WOW
[center]-The Elitists-[/center]
[center][/center]
[center][/center]
- Kuhlerblynd
- But I See Right Thru You
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
Man, I really felt this. Metaphors in this shit are fucking crazy, and I really enjoyed how you ended each 'verse' with the same phrase. Nothing about this felt forced at all, just came out like WHAT THIS IS WHAT IT IS, TAKE IT FOR WHAT ITS WORTH, and that approach is fucking great. You nailed this one man, great job. Props.
- Audible Thought
- Rhyme Master
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
Sometimes when you just let all doubts go and write freely you get this. This is dope im really feeling it.
"Until we're all free fuck the world pass the weed, life ain't what it seems y'all we chasin fantasies"-Lastchild [R.I.P]
- Alvin
- Sudonim Free
- Posts: 1958
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
I really do appreciate you guys taking the time to listen. Plex, Light, Murk, Audible, Thank you.
- FlipSide
- Flow Creation
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
i liked the choice in instrumental for this type of drop... def poetry in motion. Drop as an impact feel to it.. like u dug deep to deliver it.. i wont focus on carrying ur self to the beat ..cuz theres def a spoken word feel to it... a different facet to the art for sure... dope drop
BANG BANG!!!! I Shot U Down
̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -
̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪•)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ -
- Ambiguous Realm
- Army Of Three
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
dope shit, i love this beat too man, think u can send me the beat?
- Defiance
- Rap King
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
yo man rapping to evenessence liked it you truely shined on this man.. great content.. continuous flow i liked it alot keep this shit up.
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One of Illestlyrics Best Collaborators 2011
- M33Kish
- Elite Freestyler
- Posts: 465
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
panda, your a poet on rapper mode... this shit is dope different type of delivery but i fucks with it. it reminds me of some 90's ras kass type shit man, shit is pretty fire im diggin this shit no doubt.
The Meek Shall Prosper... So they say :P
- Alvin
- Sudonim Free
- Posts: 1958
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- Location: CA
Re: Tired (Spoken)
Appreciate the review flip. Hopefully soon I'll find a good way to merge both worlds.
Evo, thanks man, shoot me your email and I'll send it your way.
Defi and m33k, appreciate you two taking the time to listen. Appreciate all the feed fellas.
Evo, thanks man, shoot me your email and I'll send it your way.
Defi and m33k, appreciate you two taking the time to listen. Appreciate all the feed fellas.
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- Novice
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
COOL.....
Re: Tired (Spoken)
i love how you did the whole "my immortal" thing legit i love it.
[center][/center]
- AntiMaTTer
- Army Of Three
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Re: Tired (Spoken)
i like the delivery and presence but, idk if you made this kinda sound like "tired" but id like to hear some more energy. Flow is solid but can always be refined. real chill mellow beat, think the vocals could be bumped lil higher or just need some more mixin, some parts vocals sound louder then others so if youre "rockin" when spittin try and keep the same distance from the mic and not move around too much i guess.
Im no audio wizard or anything, but i just base my thoughts on what i hear.
Its still nice track though.
Im no audio wizard or anything, but i just base my thoughts on what i hear.
Its still nice track though.
IL record:
16-1
- Livenlearn
- Rhyme Master
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2010 11:22 pm
Re: Tired (Spoken)
Your delivery reminded me of charles hamilton, cuz his stream of consciousness is moves like urs, but ultimately this a good piece of art man...def. sounded more spoken word then rap, which was fine...The lyrics were the highlight as the imagery used was very alive and powerful...nice drop man, appreciate the music...
Life Lessons Volume 1 Mixtape:
http://www.usershare.net/56nqkqtksmq6
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