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48 Hours to drop your verse.
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[ Post made via Android ]Future wrote:check
so u WANNA-BATTLE huh!?! well DOG-I'LL-SCALP-YA so kid my advise in THAT,-IS-VERY-SIMPLE-RUN!!!//
im a BEAST-RHYMING, so KEEP-TRYING ta BE-"SHINING" but ill still take "JACK",-FOR-EVERY-"NICKLE-SON"
yo man, the nickleson play is insane. After I read this first bar... I was like HOLY SHIT, JACK MIGHT LOSE! This is one of the coolest bars I've read aimed at Jack since he and Scott did their thing.
ur basic while ive BROKEN-EVERY-MOLD, and i "POKE-SO-MANY-HOLES" in ur "tired" SHIT-IT-"GOES-FLAT"//
yep ur SCRIPTS-ARE-SO-WACK, there "old, dead(Olstead)" and gone so u should really "HIT-THE-ROAD-JACK"
Tire, holes, flat, hitting the road, cool word play but rather played. The hit the road jack concept played as well, but tieing in Olstead made it more YOURS if you would. Overall played but nicely played.
whether u THINK-YA-TUFF, on the BRINK-A-NUTS, or a KING-OF-PUNCH, still with just a BLINK-UR-DUST//
its true i THINK-U-SUCK, and you couldn't "fuck me while sleeping" no matter how much "INK YOU BUST"
hahajaajajaja with the gayness. I do admire the incubus wording, sig reference, and multies. Pretty good bar man. Your concepts are pretty fresh man. Shits dope
i provide a REAL-SHOW, not a '"dentist" but i put the "heal to ur mouth", like u "tasting my STEEL-TOES"//
so stop ACTIN-STACKED, im BLASTING-BACK, cus if ur the ripper im "CAPPIN JACK" the way i "SPEAR O'S"
LMFAO, overall good bar man. The name plays into perfect wording is fresh man, BUT I don't really like this as fully as I do the rest of your verse. The spear O's and sparrow was kind of a stretch for me, by accent of my own is my guess.
bar explanations
1. shining = Jack Nickleson movie
2. Renee "Olstead" sings "hit the road jack"
3. INCUBUS is a demon that has sex with sleeping people
4. Capt Jack Sparrow and spear zeros = stab losers
You were a suprise, you really were man. Your opening bar by far was your best IMO. the closer was a cool concept, but not as strong as you started. Fucking killer shit man. Lets see Jacks now.
JDR wrote:Time to throw those fist
Look..
You gettin' Controlled like Madden Players, Jack a Savoir while Future be History when we Know the Past is Later
Leave you Froze like Alaskan Glaziers, if he the Future then lets Stick to the Present like Bows and Wrappin' Paper
line one like whoa... the flip on itself was pretty bass ass, no lie. BUUUUT, the wrapping paper concept with the present... prolly the most played thing I've read thus far... and I'm not even that "vet" of a rapper. The rhyme scheme and line 1 lets me say this was a good bar, but not as good opener as I would have hoped.
Punches get Broke like Glass in Layers, this rookie exposed, Buckled Up, Period! like Pussy in Clothes
Classless lyrics, he playin' Hookie wit Flows, and it aint hard to Tell Future's Fake like Whoopi in Ghost
I'm just going to say, I'm dumb and spare you cuz I don't really get this. Be happy I'm honest. Anyhow, not really sure how future is fake period. Its quite the opposite really. The vachina, period, pretty cool, but I can't say I'm fully feeling this bar.
Look at this joke, text will trouble you, it litterally puts this nigga to Test like a Fuckin' School
Leavin' sonny a Mess like a Public Pool, juss to T's Off fuTure, end up Next to the Double U
see this I get. The name flip was dope on this, quite creative. took my dumb ass a bit to connect double u to W lol. Erno. Although that play was cool, I can't really say I was too impressed with the "ur dumb, fail a test in school".
Have you Losin' ya breath the way Couples Do, Punches naturally stuck to ya chest like Boobies to a Lady
I'm Laughin' Kidd, like actin' Goofy to a Baby, and then turn my Back to the Future, like the Movie in the 80s
nice closer man, rhyme scheme was nice, although I don't get why the end rhyme is so different than the inners. Still, I liked it, kind of a fancy way to say, "Next".
Smh..
Pest wrote:[center]"Enders is an enigma wrapped inside of a paradox in the middle of a riddle"[/center]
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