Hip Hop Forum

BigP wrote: aint tha type to let ya disrespect me//
ill stand up for myself, yall never wreck me//

you serious?

that was incredibly elementary. Up your vocab ALOT, work on multis ALOT, work on subject matter ALOT [by that i mean, dont do such a played topic as 'dont disrespect me'] Work on line length, yours are really short. But you dont wanna make them to long. and WRITE ALOT. Practice doesnt make perfect, but it will defiantly help.

And Another Thing..God Doesnt Like Gay Posers..Thats Another Reason Why Your Bars Suck..So..Have Kurse Or Somebody Else..Buy You A Playboy..Or Sumthin..And Start To Enjoy Females..And Get Over The Fact That You Aren't A Blood..And They Should Improve..WORD..

big p.. spit 6 bars and i'll tell u wat u should do and even show u a better version of wat it would be like if i wrote it..

that way u have an example and will already know wat u need work on... examples help more than people think they do... considering they helped me out..

EkomS wrote:big p.. spit 6 bars and i'll tell u wat u should do and even show u a better version of wat it would be like if i wrote it..

that way u have an example and will already know wat u need work on... examples help more than people think they do... considering they helped me out..

ill hang ya upside down, just like a bat// [animal bat not baseball bat]
we'll gang ya, just like a heard of cats//
we aint use bats, we just use our gats//
stop acting like a gangsta on the computer,
and run with the cops on the streets//
you gotta rap hardcore, you have to stay with the beats//
I gotta re-shine my guns, and hang them back on the wall//
stop acting so cool, naw bitch ya aint paul wall//
you broke, and i got money, i took your girl to the mall//
ever fuck with me again, ill have you bleeding in a bathroom stall//

fix this for me, please!

well im not that good myself but umm anyone can tell u..ur flow is off
and ur punches are way too basic as well as your rhymes

and well lame..

like gang of cats?...no hun

*.HarleQuin.* wrote:well im not that good myself but umm anyone can tell u..ur flow is off
and ur punches are way too basic as well as your rhymes

and well lame..

like gang of cats?...no hun

well thats more or less why I said can anyone help fix them up...
and thats a heard of cats, not a gang of cats.

lol anyway u word it its still pretty lame

someone cant fix that up without changing the WHOLE verse..then it'd be their work

ill hang ya upside down, just like a bat hanging upside down in a tree//
in my hood, im the local rapper, and im the realest local emcee//
i stay high, flyin just like a bee, dont you agree? dont test me//
im the highest mother fucker, i aint like no one else your just like the rest B//
im a 16 year old white lyricsist, that knows math and is even good in geometry//
stop doing what your doing, you aint gonna be the next me, you aint gonna be no artistry//
im the biggest, im the bestest, im the meanist, im the willest to dedicate my life to rap//
your the smallest, worst, happiest, unwilling persom to dedicate your life to that//
step ya game up, ill take ya fame yup, you aint nothing but a fat chump//
im still high and still coughing from that fat blunt, yup//

let the blood rush to ur head from the angle-ya-hanging//
put ya hood in ropes n chains till their ankles-r-chafing//
stayin high so this chronic will rumble-my-mind//
i'm a young white rapper, shit i'm one-of-a-kind//
i spit numbers back n forth like a mathmatician//
n lyrical dedication is my rap-decision//
i'm the 1 like the difference between 3-and-2//
that's y there's no comparison between me-and-u//
u ain't shit, i'm the one crossing-ya-hope//
still high as fuck so im coughin-up-dope//

^^just a quick example

n e ways that's just basically wat u said cept with better flow and a higher vocab.. and a few selected lines of my own.....increase the knowledge and work on ya rhymes..

don't rap about stupid shit like hanging someone upside down like a bat.. u dont need give a description example to go along with how their hanging upside down..and don't mention tree's unless they're burning and relate to drugs lol...don't talk about animals either unless it relates to them by their name..best thing u can do is listen to rap music.. lol..and notice they dont say i'm the biggest bestest meanist ect ect.. and vice versa bout the other.. avoid the basics.. this isn't elementary n e more.. even tho u may still be in it

EkomS wrote:let the blood rush to ur head from the angle-ya-hanging//
put ya hood in ropes n chains till their ankles-r-chafing//
stayin high so this chronic will rumble-my-mind//
i'm a young white rapper, shit i'm one-of-a-kind//
i spit numbers back n forth like a mathmatician//
n lyrical dedication is my rap-decision//
i'm the 1 like the difference between 3-and-2//
that's y there's no comparison between me-and-u//
u ain't shit, i'm the one crossing-ya-hope//
still high as fuck so im coughin-up-dope//

^^just a quick example

n e ways that's just basically wat u said cept with better flow and a higher vocab.. and a few selected lines of my own.....increase the knowledge and work on ya rhymes..

don't rap about stupid shit like hanging someone upside down like a bat.. u dont need give a description example to go along with how their hanging upside down..and don't mention tree's unless they're burning and relate to drugs lol...don't talk about animals either unless it relates to them by their name..best thing u can do is listen to rap music.. lol..and notice they dont say i'm the biggest bestest meanist ect ect.. and vice versa bout the other.. avoid the basics.. this isn't elementary n e more.. even tho u may still be in it

haha, thanks for redoing this for me, im not using this, i just wanted to see what I could improve on.. thanks man.

well its a better version of it.. just make sure u pick the right topic to rap about otherwise it'll all suck from the beginning...if u do use it i could care less.. its still a bad verse no matter who writes it lol

8th wrote:

BigP wrote: aint tha type to let ya disrespect me//
ill stand up for myself, yall never wreck me//

you serious?

that was incredibly elementary. Up your vocab ALOT, work on multis ALOT, work on subject matter ALOT [by that i mean, dont do such a played topic as 'dont disrespect me'] Work on line length, yours are really short. But you dont wanna make them to long. and WRITE ALOT. Practice doesnt make perfect, but it will defiantly help.

Hah. Dont Be Too Hard On Em' But Just Follow This Catorgey's

Punchlines- A Hard Hitten Line To DisAble your Emcee
Multi's- Punches with Two Slaballa's(eg. HITTEN THE SRTIKES , SPITTEN THE MIC) Kinda Basic But YooO KnO
Wordplay-Vocab Serious Work
Nameplay- Punchlines On The Person Name
Metaphore's- Comparing a Punch with another One

...says incredible 6 months later...

Incredible wrote:

8th wrote:

BigP wrote: aint tha type to let ya disrespect me//
ill stand up for myself, yall never wreck me//

you serious?

that was incredibly elementary. Up your vocab ALOT, work on multis ALOT, work on subject matter ALOT [by that i mean, dont do such a played topic as 'dont disrespect me'] Work on line length, yours are really short. But you dont wanna make them to long. and WRITE ALOT. Practice doesnt make perfect, but it will defiantly help.

Hah. Dont Be Too Hard On Em' But Just Follow This Catorgey's

Punchlines- A Hard Hitten Line To DisAble your Emcee
Multi's- Punches with Two Slaballa's(eg. HITTEN THE SRTIKES , SPITTEN THE MIC) Kinda Basic But YooO KnO
Wordplay-Vocab Serious Work
Nameplay- Punchlines On The Person Name
Metaphore's- Comparing a Punch with another One

SLABALLAS?