Writing Passages

[Young K]

Found the beat then just spit a little something on it, feed would be appreciated...



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"He writes passages, while time passes him; many passes at him, but he just passes them.
Laughs at him, hiding under that mask of his, passivist, yall couldn't imagine or picture the wrath of his.
Past of his, killed'em inside, this is the last of him, what they ask of him, burn'em leave'em nothing but ash of him.
Ash of his, practices, music extravagant, tatic is, smile but they caught on to that act of his.
False smile, lost child, fam on the back of his, back to this, expressing himself through this rapping shit.
Passionate, tearing the heart out of these savages, never looked for trouble, I just always attracted it.
I could tell my story, but yall wouldn't get the half of it, wrote books of verses, studied the art, and mastered it.
Gave'em my ass to kiss, close my eyes and pass the fifth, nothing but a lost cause untill the casket dips."

[complexity]

Found the beat then just spit a little something on it, feed would be appreciated...



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"He writes passages, while time passes him; many passes at him, but he just passes them.
Laughs at him, hiding under that mask of his, passivist, yall couldn't imagine or picture the wrath of his.
Past of his, killed'em inside, this is the last of him, what they ask of him, burn'em leave'em nothing but ash of him.
Ash of his, practices, music extravagant, tatic is, smile but they caught on to that act of his.
False smile, lost child, fam on the back of his, back to this, expressing himself through this rapping shit.
Passionate, tearing the heart out of these savages, never looked for trouble, I just always attracted it.
I could tell my story, but yall wouldn't get the half of it, wrote books of verses, studied the art, and mastered it.
Gave'em my ass to kiss, close my eyes and pass the fifth, nothing but a lost cause untill the casket dips."

That was pretty dope and the rhyme scheme was sick. I'm pretty sure that was to a 90's song.

But I'm less than entertained by how short it was and the lack of point. The last line didn't belong in the song.

I'm completely disappointed by the possibilities of what you could have done with this. I would definitely make this a snippet to something bigger.

[Haz]

lol I'm Mad This was Short As Fuck
This was Pretty Koo , I Liked The Beat And Shit....
Thought U Repeated Some Words 2 Muuuuuuuuuuch... but Thats My Opinion..
You Deff Rode The Beat And What not.. And Came Pretty Correct.. Keep DOin wud u do 1

[Young K]

appreciate it and i'll probably throw another verse on it, this was just an experiment to see how much i could twist one rhyme in a verse and stay on flow, but thanks for the feed

[Dead Silence]

yeah thats good shit man
love listening to ur shit coz its always real good

btw plex
this was like a beat sample from three doors down "here without you"
Jay-Z did a sick remix to it or someone remixed but w.e look it up its sick

but neways
KG
Do a full song to this
Enough said lol

[precise]

i like it man, rhyme scheme was sick but i didnt catch much of a topic, i like the beat, u should elaborate on this track

[Young K]

didn't really have a topic i was just writing, thanks for the feed

[Haz]

Yo where Can i Find this Beat At?

[Young K]

limewire

[Mac]

Dont Give Hazard That Beat, He'll Ruin it...haha



Shit was Pretty Good For Just Writing Fuck What Everybody Else Says lol. I Do Agree It Should Of Been Longer, You Should Really Take This Beat And Do An Actually Track With it. Good shit..


It's Cool To Just Record What You're Writing Some Times, Not Everything Has To Be A Whole Song For It To be Good.

Props Man, Keep Recording An Posting Be It An Actally Track Or Just "Writing". Next Time, Try An Make It Longer.

[HKX]

damn son dis track could've been dope if it was a full track, feelin dat beat nigga good shit if i was u i'd make it 2 a full track shit is 2 short nigga feel me 1

[Young K]

appreciate it

[Lawgix]

this shit was really nice man! loved the beat to 3 Doors Down... lyrics were on point... like Precise said not much of a topic but really didn't need one... just write what ya mind tells ya haha really good hope u make this full length man... keep droppin

[Glamtrash]

It's short and lacking a point yes, but the thing that annoys the shit out of me is the extreme overlapping in the voices. You've got lots of skill and nice pick with the 3 doors down beat, but I think you could do a lot better than this. Work on your mixing, write out a full track (preferably one that makes sense from beginning to end) , and try again.

[Haz]

Double..
The Overlappin
Is Cause Plex also posted the track you Have To Pause that One