Hip Hop Forum

my mind is still put the still to my head
it's time to drill bullets out the nine and fill..
my brains you see..shits constantly straining me..
the pain culd be.. her.. or even my self..
why is my pulse beatin! maybe im breathin for help..
have you ever lit a cig walkin down a dark path..
im startin to drown see i might feel da sharks wrath
other doods see this and get just a laugh
like "ha ha" take a look at dat bustas rap..
maybe i'll bust a cap from this cylinder..
as i close my eyes i just see him in her!...
is this true or not? you just veiw i jot..
maybe its a topical i persued to drop..

I like it.

Melancholy, anger, mystery, depression; all ingredients of good writing.

Good job. If it's true: Women are bitches n you can do better. If not, good imanginry. Way to keep it open.

8/10.