Hip Hop Forum

Try to endure the storm. Keep your head out of water.
Duck down the rain fall. Move on when it clears.
The water pipes flood down hills. Swallow air borne pills.
Getting sick everyday I must fight the struggle. Don't give up.
You look like your about to fall asleep. Take this energy drink.
With this in your system you're safe. I just hit a grand slam.
Have eyes in the back of your head. Get everything ready.
You don't know when your time is up. Make sure everything is worth it.
The surround sound show is here. The vibe brings you to stand up.
Now groove your body from side to side. Step jump off in here.
Ache pink drink to heal your stomach. I lead you will you commit.
There's no time to be looking around. Take action now.
Open up your mind body and soul. Take control of your own life.
Don't listen to those ne Sayers. They will never stop hating.
Do you have the guts to step to me? Start to get free.
Shout and sing what you want to see. You'll get what you want.
Take a yard measure out the stakes. Look for equality inside.
Free yourself from hate. Accept all in this world.
I and my dog hang out in the backyard. We take a snooze on the dirt.
Playing toss with all the balls was the game. You run around all crazy.

Leave feedback on a couple drops if you want feedback. I promise, you will get it.

i liked it bro, seems like it belongs in "distilled concept" section cause its a poetic drop

the overall feel of it was good, nice concept, keep writin n droppin

I agree with Precise, this was very motivational as well.

"Open up your mind body and soul. Take control of your own life.
Don't listen to those ne Sayers. They will never stop hating.
Do you have the guts to step to me? Start to get free.
Shout and sing what you want to see. You'll get what you want"

Speechless wrote:Try to endure the storm. Keep your head out of water.
Duck down the rain fall. Move on when it clears.
The water pipes flood down hills. Swallow air borne pills.
Getting sick everyday I must fight the struggle. Don't give up.
You look like your about to fall asleep. Take this energy drink.
With this in your system you're safe. I just hit a grand slam.
Have eyes in the back of your head. Get everything ready.
You don't know when your time is up. Make sure everything is worth it.
The surround sound show is here. The vibe brings you to stand up.
Now groove your body from side to side. Step jump off in here.
Ache pink drink to heal your stomach. I lead you will you commit.
There's no time to be looking around. Take action now.
Open up your mind body and soul. Take control of your own life.
Don't listen to those ne Sayers. They will never stop hating.
Do you have the guts to step to me? Start to get free.
Shout and sing what you want to see. You'll get what you want.
Take a yard measure out the stakes. Look for equality inside.
Free yourself from hate. Accept all in this world.
I and my dog hang out in the backyard. We take a snooze on the dirt.
Playing toss with all the balls was the game. You run around all crazy.

Ayo, from one poet to another bro. I felt that!!

"The water pipes flood down hills. Swallow air borne pills.
Getting sick everyday I must fight the struggle. Don't give up."

Dope

"Take a yard measure out the stakes. Look for equality inside.
Free yourself from hate. Accept all in this world."

Nice vision,but I didnt feel the rhyming in it.

"Getting sick everyday I must fight the struggle. Don't give up.
You look like your about to fall asleep. Take this energy drink."

Wasnt feelin that one.

I would agree it belongs in the Distilled concept forum.
But nonetheless it is good to see it dropped period than not at all so keep them comin!

over all it was ok ..it wasnt bad but it wasnt great. I feel like you need to Let your Vocab open up, That Doesnt Really mean you need Five dollar words or anything. What it means is you Need to Focus More on Vivid Words..Words that Can Truly Paint a Canvas..& not even the words so much as the way there worded..ya feel me ? lol if i'm being confusing my bad

Just keep at it..make it a little more complex..There is always a better word than the one you first think of