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Sealed emotions
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:06 pm
by Haz
.... Came Up ..Chained Up....
Causin Him 2 Grow-in-Vain
Sealed His Emotions
Same Stuff, Became Tough
He'd Go-In-sane
Filled With Bitter-Thoughts
Cause his Father Crossed-Him
Like The type a 'Sister-Brought'
His Fate Never Pausin
It Was in a Twister-Caught
Knew he Couldnt Create-a-Path
Even If he Tried His Future
Would Remake-His-Past
To That Date-Exact
He Claimed He Route-a-Change
20 Nickels To 4 Quarters..
It Came Out-The-Same
They Said Reach 4 Da Stars
His Meanin-Died..
Knowing Every Dreams-a-lie
His Mom Had him
He Shared-ha Screams-n-Crys
They Say Like Father Like Son
He Peeped the Mirra..
And Seen a Demins-eyes
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:31 pm
by |.R.SON.aLL.|
i Was Mos Deffo Feelin` This ..
Tha Flow Was insane ..
Like Thas What Stood Out Tha Most ..
.. it Was a Good Drop Fam,
One Of Mah Favorites Fa Real Fa Real ..
.... Came Up ..Chained Up....
Causin Him 2 Grow-in-Vain
Sealed His Emotions
Same Stuff, Became Tough
He'd Go-In-sane
Filled With Bitter-Thoughts
Cause his Father Crossed-Him
Like The type a 'Sister-Brought'
His Fate Never Pausin
It Was in a Twister-Caught
^^ .. Opened Up Kinda Crazy Son ..
i Loved it ..
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 4:32 pm
by Kurse
Nice drop. Sounds like sumthin that have more impact in an audio. As far as the written piece, it almost seems like sumthin in "Distilled Concepts"
....especially since the structure of it all was somewhat different than your average drop. But nice verse anyway. clean display of emotion and struggle.
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 5:28 pm
by complexity
Illness, the rhyme scheme was sick and way different than what you do usually.
Almost every line was fluid.
"Causin Him 2 Grow-in-Vain
Sealed His Emotions
Same Stuff, Became Tough
He'd Go-In-sane
Filled With Bitter-Thoughts "
Cause his Father Crossed-Him
Like The type a 'Sister-Brought'
His Fate Never Pausin
It Was in a Twister-Caught
Knew he Couldnt Create-a-Path"
My favorite part.
The only place I see room for improvement still is in phrasing. People say "caught in a twister"
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 7:15 pm
by Arvincible
dooope haz, i like this kind of stuff it really brings out a diff side of you... (not the stupid one) lol but yeah man i quote plex on this..
this is real and that brings out the best pieces in a writer.
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 11:02 pm
by Haz
Aight guys
Thanks Alot For All The Feed
Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:42 am
by Quix
ill LIL drop there HAzz!!
quotables have been quoted...keep spitting dunny!
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 10:58 am
by F.A.M.E.
This is the best shit I seen from you (Haven't seen many verses of yours though). The flow was sick. Seems different from the rest of the bars I seen you drop. As was previously mentioned, shit seems like it blend on a track.