Hip Hop Forum

Dead on Arrival, boy lost his head from the rifle
Employ cops to stop gun shots from blocks not bred on the bible
These life or death situations might leave ya breath taken
watching ya whole neighborhood basing off of greater goods
Never plottin shit, loading hollow tips to stop a vick
dead in his tracks, left his body split, head in his ass
anonymous, pick pocketed his wallet, took his bread in a dash
never saw the kid, police coming with questions to ask
About who killed the cat with no parental base, just yellow tape it
his mental was sacred, til the metal rendered him faceless
The pavement we relate with resemble a maze which
means my mind is lost, suicidal thoughts, now i end in a cage with
killers who agin', swore they couldnt find god through prayin
stuck behind bars but saying they alright cuz at least Satan will take em

About who killed the cat with no parental base, just yellow tape it
his mental was sacred, til the metal rendered him faceless
The pavement we relate with resemble a maze which
means my mind is lost, suicidal thoughts, now i end in a cage with
killers who agin', swore they couldnt find god through prayin
stuck behind bars but saying they alright cuz at least Satan will take em


damn kid, that part totally reminded me of some eminem shit...
i really liked this piece...multis flow were perfect...
props muh dude

sick with it. The whole verse was sick dude i loved the rhymes sounds like real street shit. Nice flow too.

^didnt read it

thanks for the feed yall

Scott i did read it i just dont lower people by dissing their verses. If they dont really show a weakness i dont bring it up, I just let them be. But if the next time i see some faults in their verse i will be sure to tell them, i am just being positively honest bro. I liked the verse, infact i like any drop anyone post. Everyone has different styles.

it as pretty dope
the flow went well with the multies in the beggining
but i thought u kinda fell off a lil at the end
no beef or anything jus thats how i see it
had a good ending just wasn't consistent enough
like the beggining of ya verse
keep'em comin

Exactly^

i appreciate the feed. this was a freestyle so yuh the ending could been betta i agree withchu

HUH? DASS A PRETTY TIGHT FREESTYLE DAWG...DOPE ON THE MULIS


Never plottin shit, loading hollow tips to stop a vick
dead in his tracks, left his body split, head in his ass
anonymous, pick pocketed his wallet, took his bread in a dash
never saw the kid, police coming with questions to ask

^^^i liked dis part straight talkin it..i can relate to that shyt^^^

good flo..totally audio ready..IMO

thanks for the feedd

the verse was decent work i liked the multies but i felt that at a certain point and time you had some slip ups at the beginning towards the second to third line..i think your wording can be improved and will make your drops even stronger with more to come..but its still dope..nonethe less

Dyna'