Hip Hop Forum

...Yeah....

[align=center]I Manage Flows That'll Damage Foes Cus I'm Strapd Ta Trees Like Where Hammicz Go
I'm Moldin Tha Hustle Like Seramic Yo, Panic Hoe I'm Deep Like Da Titanic Soo
I Plan Ta Show, i'll Put Dese Seeds Undaground Like How a Planta Grows!...
I Got Piff Out Da Tropicz, i'll Son Ya Like Ya Pops Did...
i'll "Kill Ya Kid" Like Tellin ya Child Its ADOPTED! U Can't Stop Dis Aprofis
Out For a Prophit..Flows Locked With..Rockitz That'll Cock N Pop Quick..
Drop Prickz! Like a Dead Rose Bush... I Blow Kush
More then Whore's Push There Sore Tush..On Da Strip..Dat Ganja Lift Me..
Like I'm On a Lift..Calm Ya Script Cus U'll Get Slamd Quic Like a Gavel Your HONA GRIPS!..
The Punches I Season With Fever, Streamin With Ether'll Have U Back Ta Shakin..
Like REDEEMIN A SEIZURE! i'm Fiendin Fa Reefer..i'll Hit A Field Like a..
TEAM IN DA BLEACHERS..I Fuck a Chick Touch Ha Shit N I'm Skeamin Da Skeezer
Athiest People Even Believerz ,I'm Str8 Fire Like a Dood Squeezin Da Heater
U Aint Ice Cold Till Your Squeezed In a Freezer..No Treason Fa Either
Of You Enemies Who Pretend To Be Good Friends Of Me...[/align]

flow was great, rhymes were good, i think itll work out great for an audio verse due to the smooth flow of it,
only downfall was i wasnt feelin some of the punches, they just werent workin for me


i liked this punch tho:

Drop Prickz! Like a Dead Rose Bush <-- lol cool shit

Ay i think that'll be a dope audio..the rythm is sick and ya transfers
are clean not many loose edges..with the right delivery i say this shyt is fire dawg... let me know when that audio drops....i'd like ta hear it...

nice home's

multis where sound in this.. sometimes (particularly at the start) i thought you overdid it with the multis, on audio imo, too many multis is a sign of an amateur, a "pro" would be happy with his skill and content, using the concept "less is more"...

punches where nice.. rose bush, bleechers, freezer..

flow towards the end was crack and at the start it was solid too.. should make a good audio piece..

i'd change the line to..

im out fa mo' profit, the flows locked with rockets ta pop quick - to me thats smoother..

you know what it is.. wanna hear this on audio..

that shit was dope Haz..
this my new name on her,
niggas think im tryin to be weezy n shit
that sucks u got suspended ima hit u up today
to BLAZA CHIBA ha na im playin but seriously
lets smoke an L ya dig



check it...
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/off-t ... 12066.html

Drop Prickz! Like a Dead Rose Bush... I Blow Kush
More then Whore's Push There Sore Tush

^^^^ juss rereadin this shyt...forgot to pull my fave part^^^

scheme and message was clear without bein metaphorically outlandish..
anyway sik drop..

Good Looks For The Feed, You already REcorded ya Track Vs Me?

nice read KID!

flowed Illy good content...nice read!

-.HaZarD.- wrote:Good Looks For The Feed, You already REcorded ya Track Vs Me?

yeah i did and if you dont drop within 30 hrs im addin another verse..haha

good shit when u finna post dis in da chamber kid

TEAM IN DA BLEACHERS..I Fuck a Chick Touch Ha Shit N I'm Skeamin Da Skeezer
Athiest People Even Believerz ,I'm Str8 Fire Like a Dood Squeezin Da Heater


had me rollin on dis line dis shit stood out best line in my opinion

Solid. Let me know when you've posted the audio I really enjoyed this piece. I like your punchline style and you have a lot of potential in that area (a lot). Some were extremely comedic in a tongue-in-cheek way, but still had the same effect as the more serious ones. Examples of these punchlines would be your 1st line, the seed line and the rose bush one, you were really thinking out of the box.

Flow as expected was smooth, solid multis and good set ups. a Very well rounded drop, but I'd work on your executions of some lines like this one:
TEAM IN DA BLEACHERS..I Fuck a Chick Touch Ha Shit N I'm Skeamin Da Skeezer
Still, minor flaws, keep at it.

Thank You.

Thank You.