Hip Hop Forum

No real premise for it, realized I'm losing my touch so I just wrote some shit down because I can't sleep.

[font=Comic Sans MS]There comes a time and a place for my memories to erase
For my mind to grind and mis-trace all of these mis-takes
But I always seem to misplace truth behind this face
This fake knife projected through me to take life
Shake trife, rise above and be better then the rest
Strive to be a trend setter and be nothin but the best
Something in my chest, it beats, it pumps, its broke
Something in my brain, it leaks, it jumps, it chokes
My throat constricts and extends graspin for breathe
Overdosing on reality while Im clasping for death
It suddenly hits me, as the light keeps drawing near
All the shit Ive done in the past leaves me clawing here
Falling without fear, I can pick myself up, but is that true?
Can I really stand with paralysis jus cuz my mind is new?
Fact is, the past will haunt, waiting to show its kill form
Covered in blood and dead, its almost feeling like a still-born
Still-torn, I can walk forward but I have too many lies to shove
A priest once told me Ill feel better if I talk to the skies above
So here I am on my knees, begging for forgivness and pleads
Please, the un-seen, erase what is me along with all my bad deeds
Let me restart this gift thats been given,I know where this path leads
Silence in return, I guess I'll never learn, Ive waited 6 years for his charm
Its not my turn, so Ill be back again tomorrow, with another needle in my arm[/font]

It suddenly hits me, as the light keeps drawing near
All the shit Ive done in the past leaves me clawing here
Falling without fear, I can pick myself up, but is that true?
Can I really stand with paralysis jus cuz my mind is new?
Fact is, the past will haunt, waiting to show its kill form
Covered in blood and dead, its almost feeling like a still-born
Still-torn, I can walk forward but I have too many lies to shove
A priest once told me Ill feel better if I talk to the skies above
So here I am on my knees, begging for forgivness and pleads
Please, the un-seen, erase what is me along with all my bad deeds
Let me restart this gift thats been given,I know where this path leads
Silence in return, I guess I'll never learn, Ive waited 6 years for his charm
Its not my turn, so Ill be back again tomorrow, with another needle in my arm




shit cam nice ^^




liked this piece dog!

Nice lyrics. The focus of the piece outshines the title!!
Really felt the middle was the strongest part. Good stuff boy!!

Wow ! ..
Fire Story ..
Imagery Was Decent ..
But Tha Story Was ill ..
The Closer Was Dope imo ..
Tha Flow of Tha 4th & 5th Bar Were Nice ..
Props

This Shit Was Deff Fuckin Hard Man,
Hard As Hell.


Something in my chest, it beats, it pumps, its broke
Something in my brain, it leaks, it jumps, it chokes


Got Deep As Fuck Right There^..
]

There comes a time and a place for my memories to erase
For my mind to grind and mis-trace all of these mis-takes
But I always seem to misplace truth behind this face
This fake knife projected through me to take life
Shake trife, rise above and be better then the rest
Strive to be a trend setter and be nothin but the best


This Part was Sooo Dope, The Rhyme Scheme was Blended So Nice With the deep Writin it just Fit So Well , Like U Wasnt Tryna Make a Multi Verse But Tryna Leak ya Heart Thru These words...

I Felt Like First Half Was My Favorite Part Man , The FLow Was Nice
Deff a Sick Ass Poet/Writer... Loved This Piece Kid...

All I Gotta Say Is Get Back Into It, Start Coverin More Topics.. Kill It...
I Have Faith In U Son , This Shit Can Be Ya Therapy, N When it Can Be Ya Therapy Use It To ya Advantage N Leak ya Feelins Out Son. You Real Son.

Good Piece.

Holla

story n concept was coo
the flow wasnt very consistent due to the random of lengths of certain lines..
but overall the imagery and poetic was nicely done.

im a fan of multis, so, i think u coulda used more