Hip Hop Forum

shyt i had this peice made a couple months ago lol when i hadda better mic found it on one of my CD's thought i'd get this shyt up there cus a new change wasnt that good n this aint much better but it is better IMO

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feed will be returned leave a link or tell me what u want fed

Lyrics

This Is Mutual Hostility

Hook
Scary It Dark He Pulls Up
Homie Wanna Spark Them Rolls Up
Put Out Ya Life Leave The Crowd
War This Is Happnin Right Now(Echo)

My Homie Got Them 24's Up
Rims Dont Belong To Up So What
Cock The Gat Silenced To leave The Sound
This Is Happin Right Now(Echo)

Verse 1
Cops all want us to hold the gat so they can pop r backs
when we turned around they make excuses like "well They Attacked
so i sprayed the rats nothin much sergeant i jus layed the facts
i jus laid the trap come easy to me like gettin paid to rap
well see i'm a maniac 9-11 was an inside job shady stacks
of the truth that mainly lacks the proof so to lie they shoot
they die in suits say they straight but they pry for loot
try to boot crack dealers out but then sell it themselves
we rebel it aswell it's definately a possiblility
up in this vacinity to get dropped to much hostile energy
so u jus hold a glock for enemy tread steadily

Hook

Verse 2
i was raised on freedom of speech they gave it to us
becus they think we aint need to speak my raving focus
end up to slaying hopers the police gotta switch
i f***in hate a snitch they get round the system like a glitch
i wish i could fix the dumb f***s who hate on this
u late insist police f***as great no kiss my backside
as i rip ya back wide open rip out ya inside outside
cops always wanna be seein where my car ride
so closely watched if i looked at my clock
they could tell me what time it was
that aint fine to us my rhymin just a way to pass the time
officers thinkin we thinkin up a master crime leavin em all sublimed
when i finally aviate leave em all outta they minds

Hook

bump

bumpin

Beat choice was dope...I like that instrumental. Good choice on your part.
Mixing needs work as usual.
The doubled vocals on the hook were done real sloppy! Your hook is your dime piece of the song that carries the over-all message, so the delivery of that is veryyyyy important. It's best to memorize the hook before spittin, that way it doesn't come out rough around the edges or sound different each time you spit it.
Lyrically the piece is decent, but it's your over-all presentation that needs improvement if anything. You have to ride the beat at all times, and theres too many bars that seemed so forced, that it dominately pushes your flow to fall off.
Keep at it. Just watch how many words ur jammin inti each bar and keep practicing!

thanks Kurse seems like u an Lawgix the only feed i get

i agree with Kurse on this one... i mean lyrically u always got that shit down... but what i told ya about the run ons... use less of em... DELIVERY DELIVERY DELIVERY is highly important to the message that ur tryin to portray to the audience... flow plays as another factor... u haven't found ya swag yet... but u'll know once u find it...

as a pointer... what i do before i start recordin... i do a dry take... i just spit what i got wrote to the beat... if it doesn't fit or u say to urself "oh shit i can write somethin 30 times better than what i got down already" more than likely ur gut feeling will be right and u'll come out with a dope track... also the hook is important as well... it tells ya what ur tryin to say... and i u can't deliver that hook then u ain't gotta song... and nobodies gonna be feelin it... so work on the run ons, delivery of ur words, ya flow, discover ya swag, go over the lyrics before u start recordin... u'll more than likely have a really dope song that will gain peoples attention... another thing is when ur doin a hook... record it twice... upper and under vocals... so it blends well together... go back n listen to Kurse HKX Viral ODK (Diverse if u dunno who that is lol) me Dynamiq or any audio head thats decent enuff to use as an example and u'll understand what i'm tellin ya

i will give this a 4/10 cause iuno how long ago this was but u did ya thing and i think u can do ya thing if u have the right skills... takes time and effort... plus alot of patients... but u'll get it man... i hope this helps ya and get at me if u have questions n shit...

keep ya head up

peace

thanks Gix preciated i'm hopefully gonna have a track done with alpha bill at sum point dunno if u wanna get in on that but i hope thats gonna be quite str8