Hip Hop Forum

Ok this is my new track, just this minute finished recording it...

the hook isn't that great... so if anyone wanna help me by doing a new one for me please lemme know...

I've tried real hard to get the emotion across in this one so lemme know how i done.

Beat Produced by Hy-Grade.

So feedback please

Hm, your right about the chorus not being that great. I think if you bring the volume up quite a bit, it'll sound a lot better then it does at the moment. Also, you sound a little weird on your verses.. I'm not sure what it is. I mean it's weird, but at the same time it's probably the most clear I've heard you. I'm not going to come right out and say that I liked it, because I'm not sure if I did, but your on the right track. Just keep moving in the direction your moving, try not to over do it on the verses, and you should be OK.

I think I figured it out the problem. That emotion you were trying to convey in the song is what killed it for me.. it seemed fake. If there is going to be emotion on the track is has to be real. I know not every song is going to have that emotion, so don't try and force it because you think that's what it needs. If it's going to come, it'll come naturally.. so don't force it out.

This is probably one of the better tracks I've heard from you, but with that being said.. it's not my favorite. I hope you'll be able to take some of the things I've said into consideration the next time you record a song.

Anyways, peace man.

Onediversekid wrote:That emotion you were trying to convey in the song is what killed it for me.. it seemed fake. If there is going to be emotion on the track is has to be real. I know not every song is going to have that emotion, so don't try and force it because you think that's what it needs. If it's going to come, it'll come naturally.. so don't force it out.

This.

Apart From That The Delivery Was Very Clear And Confident. Some Parts Did Sound Like u Were Running Out Of Breath And Finishing The Word Quickly, But That Only Happened On a Couple Of instances. See How u Can Work Around That While Keeping Or Slightly Altering The Flow at The Parts (Which i Can't Remember Right Now Lol).

u Already Know What i Think of The Lyrics, The Quality Was Good Too. The Hook Was Definitely The Memorable Part Of The Track, it Was Kinda Catchy. it's Really Effective To Do That in Hooks (Starting Every Line With 'This is'... Or Any Couple Of Words, Or Phrase Etc) And Changing The Flow Especially Because u Can Easily Tell it's The Hook.

Keep at it.

if u worked on ur emotion dis track should be dope its aight but i think it could be a lil better if u put som emo in it dawg

yo... this is pretty cool. The hook is hella low mayne! I think the emotion you got in here is cool but i think you should add a lil charisma with the words you spitting... it'll help with the emotion in ya verses... make it seem more naturally and not sooo forced. try memorizing ya verse... and just spittin it till you comfortable with it... then spit it accapella to you feel you could just listen to ya voice and be into it! envison a crowd in front of you if that helps. before you know it you'll be spittin the shit like you felt in when ya wrote it.

i agree wit pretty much everythangs dat been said, but you definately have some solid lyrics on dis joint. i was feelin it fosho. dat hook could be raw if you made i few pretty simple changes.. but all in all if ya put a lil mo work into dis one it could be firre.

thanks to everyone that has given feedback. i'll take this all on board and re-record it before the end of the week

ok so i re-done this on monday, replaced the original track with the new one, new feed please?

i did a song to this beat
kinda really different

but i liked the feel

u did run ouutta breath in some parts
the concept is kool

keep doing ya

ayy this was pretty nice..i liked the concept alot..
the hook had alot of meaning to it..ya got ya emotion
up now..i'm beleivin what you sayin..nice..


all in all good song man..i'd say your probably doin
da best you can do with ya available resources..

thanks for the feed guys,

tre could you explain whatcha mean by "doin da best you can do with ya available resources.."

meaning
u dont have a real studio
so ur making do with what u have

like me and prob. alot of other audio heads on here

we got a mic recording program and a computer