Hip Hop Forum

nothin spectacliar jus sumin i did quickly
to try to get back into this shyt
i gotta track i'll be postin later this week
with a tech n9ne style to it hope that goes well
anyway preciate the feed any will be returned


http://rapidshare.com/files/229549243/L ... d.mp3.html
http://www.www.illestlyrics.com/copyrig ... 3bd28d1f7/


Lyrics:
Man when i took up rap i was lead to believe
there'd be pain i wanted no fame jus peace
but then this anarchy developed people became deceased
i proclaimed a feast of the fakes slain in 1 piece
so abrogate then legislate swallow the haters whole
if we adjudicate my embelishment gets me towards my goal
my potent words put your putrid mind on a role
your ignorance and benevolence taught one valuable lesson
steady proggression an estimation is better than jus guessin
the mist we missed sits to this listens to all the shit
in life that we pick rap it up it's time thats it
the poverty through rap lyrics gets to assanine kids
they jus listen an sit

if we say we that we can fly
400 kids off buildin's die
it's are lifes thrown into a twirl
false perceptions that i rule the world
but for sum reason i get no pain
shud i fell guilty for the wars i've gained
listen as my heart uncurls
cus lyrics rule the world


listen to a heart beat
a dark street kids
on a corner under a harsh week
u all weak the pain will never cease
aslong there is writers to write
a lighter to light the page
fighters to fight a delight that i'm right
many people came to rap the soon lost there sight
diluted into diversity money power & fame
these desercrated remains will never be the same
a sentence filled with pain as they chill in flames
an end to the rap game



why is there so much hate in this life
kids on the corner turn to sharp knives
is it are lives thrown into a twirl
i was wrong to say that i ruled the world
but for sum reason with all this hate
i fell guilty i tried to change my fate
listen my spirit hurls
cus lyrics rule the world

best part of this was when it ended

thanks for the vote of confindence

ya qualities better dude..

ya flo started out pretty good..juggled a bit midway thru da first verse
but still big improvement..
hook is decent
ya sound like ya gettin some swag..haha..real talk..
2nd Verse was aight dude....

all in all it's been a minute since i listened to your tracks but you
eleveated alot..stay on ya grind playuh..1

thanks fo the feed Tre
an yeah it seems everytime i stay away from rap fo a couple weeks i come back with an elevation in me strange but
thanks
BUMP

yeah, this was allright, flow was pretty choppy, but quality and beat was tight. your definatly getting a lot better at this shit man. i give it a 6.5/ 10. but thats no hate or nothing, i just felt like your lyrics were sick just could of been delievered better..

peace homie

thanks fo the feed Mod we shud get to a collab at sum point we had one but u didnt get back to me

umm... well... the whole concept of this song is pretty fuckin dope honestly... but... you fell off alot... the chorus was okay... just needs to be sung better... lyrics were good... just no emotion really... like... i felt the concept but concept is nothing to emotion... the beat was kinda louder than u at some points of the track... need to lower the beat just a tad or up ya vocals... but don't over power the beat... needs to be right in the middle if u know what i'm sayin... basically i'll give it a 5 1/2 / 10 man... keep workin on ya shit dude... u'll get it

thanks fo the feed dude

Hmm....Yeah your flow was kinda all over, it seemed rushed (your lines are too long for the beat). The beat is an interestin choice cus it doesnt really have a bass line so thats probably why you had trouble controllin your flow.

As far as content, I like the lyrics, you have a good vocab, keep writin n practin on the mic and you'll get better.

thanks fo the feed