Hip Hop Forum

This one is for alla dem phony gangster wannabe motherfuckers.

bitch this is more than just a couple of bars,
You so tough dude then produce and lets spar!
now you soft,beggin, a minute ago you was hard.
I cut you so bad son you'll get nicknamed scar,
you wont forget me I leave yo reflection marred
You cold as ice? I chop you down to mere shards!
Test me, be a hero! I chop your body into parts!
Blockman I send you home in boxes like braveheart.(like da movie)

I have a knack for killin niggahs with words.
I leave you holdin ya chest where it hurts,
I hardly miss, brake your heart in one verse.
range rover i be ridin your shit like dirt.

Niggahs always get defensive,
I disable niggahs defenses,
by shockin niggahs senseless.
lock you up in a sentence.

One step above a promise, THIS I VOW!
one step above most ill, this is foul.

my rhymes flow like their trimmed]\ (random
my lines stick like their pinned.]/ I know)

In this life we all stand Man alone.
every niggah Gotta hold his own,
drop that shit and Reap what you sow!
Only realize it when da gas dun blows.
Have cats choke on yo gaspin flows!

Yall aint Cats yall powerpuff girls,
Yall cant spit niggahs yall jus hurl.
Fear me when these claws I uncurl
fear my hatred when it's unfurled

dont need no gun. Lurk in your nightmares,
dont need no vest cause i have you scared.
Feelin inadequade and mentally unprepared,
have you checking for me under your bed.
Thinking if you close your eyes you dead.

I aint changed and I never will.
the best,wen I exibit my skill,
the greatest I’m sick not I’ll.
When I spit no one can touch this
cause I’m sharky the bigger fish,
niggah the great white,
Use my mouth not fists.

I drown your claps in whistles
So in otherwords fuck alla you gangsta rap punks.
phony Bitches rappin bout pistols
wen yall aint neva even touched or fired no guns.

this was alright hella basic, and non of the flows were really connected. it was like a different style for every one. rhymin was pretty simplistic. some of it was tight. i would say, for you, you need to work on connectin it all together. tiein in the rhymes more.

peace

thanx for da feed man, appreciate it.

Ok it's Like ur Kinda Still Developing into a Style Here, But u Have Potential Because These Lines Really Stood Out To Me:

You cold as ice? I chop you down to mere shards!

lock you up in a sentence.

The Wordplay u Used in This Piece Was Pretty Minimal But i Think The More u Practice With it, The Sharper You'll Get And Develop The Sense To Dissect Words On Sight.

Ok Now Let's Get To The Actual Drop. i See What ur Trying To Say With it, And While it May Be True, u Just Threw The Basic Claims Out There For The Most Part. Some Lines Looked Like They'd Have Been Better Left Out Of it (The Scar Line Namely). if ur Gnna Say Something in a Verse, Say it in a Way That Gives it More Wit And 'Swag', Don't Just Say it, if u Know What im Saying ? Drops Like These Can Allllllways Be Spiced Up With More Wit And Punchlines, Which Judging By The Lines i Mentioned Above, u Have an idea Of. So Yeah Basically, Just Play Around And See How Much Flashier (is That a Word ? Lol) u Can Make a Basic Line, And Keep Defining ur Style. Keep Dropping Man.

Yeah thanks for the feed scotch. I've read some of your work and to have you tune me I have potential means ima keep at it and try develop a style and add some tang.

Peace.