Hip Hop Forum

House rules and all

this is my check

you drop first and I'll respond asap

Listen!!



Its most certain that im gonna close curtains on this jerk thats Soul Searchin..
wit no purpose spittin the old version, Never hard! ever bar he's a clown like the Whole Circus!!
Comedy at its best holdin no threat of stopin me you pest imma make him Shred his Skin..
have em runnin N scared makin this a "public affair" the way i "Fuck" him like Letterman!!..
In all aspects im better then you more gon' feel me even if we drop the Same Bar..
cause lookin in your "eyes" it describes your "lazy" and your known to slouch like Drakes Are!!..
Leavin this dude from middletown crippled now wit a broke smile from Ohio Starvin to Taste Doe..
Buryin this man early and surely all of illest kno he only gets his hands dirty when he Harvest Potatoes!!..
Comin here soundin just like the usual i would really like to see you Recite wat you can Prove..
Fuk ya audio there aint a mic that you can bruise and there's no "Comin Bak" like a Viking Funeral!!..



5 Barz..

I beat his Brains out they Frames so he Picture me Bad!
Sickly and Sad he the son of John Q w/no DAD! DEAD!

I'll sentence this menace w/some bars that'll last...
Hard but at Last! He only "pull hammers" in CARPENTRY CLASS!

His tough act turned phoney! BITCH act like ya know me!
I pull this "phat rabbit" out his hat now he a ONE TRICK PONEY!

Mence is trippin like a hurdle wreck, my words will convert a vet
When kids lines get more stretched then a double chin in a TURTLE NECK!

This Kid Know... I'll lay him out like a Bimbo..
He's FUCKED, cuz he damn near DUCKED out this battle like LIMBO!!

Multis: Menace
Wordplay: Menace
Punches: Menance - his were more complicated
Originality: Menance
Personals: Menace - he didn't duck your battle dude - he smashed you.

Overall: Menace

Jir's verse was decent, but he was no match. Good luck next time.

--------------------

He's not a clown, he is the whole circus. That would have been a better line, unfortunately, that would have been just as played. Thought I'd point that out.

"I'll sentence this menace w/some bars that'll last...
Hard but at Last! He only "pull hammers" in CARPENTRY CLASS!"

I like that line. The lack of originality in the other bars took away from the effectiveness of this bar. Menace also isn't all gun talk, it would be hard for one of us to take away the fact that, Menace isn't a gangster, when I don't think anyone has that portrayal of him in the first place, I may be wrong. Very important fact to remember when you're writing a punchline.

1-0 Me....Uppin!!


Appreciate the break down plex.

Menace Got this one.. J-I-R.. I think you under estimated him.. You need to put more into what you got. Good verses but Menace got this one.

okay...

JIR...

u had some decent lines... i really liked this one

"Mence is trippin like a hurdle wreck, my words will convert a vet
When kids lines get more stretched then a double chin in a TURTLE NECK!"

thats probably ur hardest imo a bit stretched out but still effective in my book...

i didn't like this one tho...

"His tough act turned phoney! BITCH act like ya know me!
I pull this "phat rabbit" out his hat now he a ONE TRICK PONEY!"

maybe i'm missin the point but it didn't make sense to me

not really that effective cause wtf does it mean?? lol

Menace...

saw some good lines in here like...

"Comedy at its best holdin no threat of stopin me you pest imma make him Shred his Skin..
have em runnin N scared makin this a "public affair" the way i "Fuck" him like Letterman!!.."

haha that was cool...

"In all aspects im better then you more gon' feel me even if we drop the Same Bar..
cause lookin in your "eyes" it describes your "lazy" and your known to slouch like Drakes Are!!.."

lmfao...

again i may be missin the point but i didn't get this one...

"Fuk ya audio there aint a mic that you can bruise and there's no "Comin Bak" like a Viking Funeral!!.."

so neways

i'll say Menace gets this one... cause JIR had an effective punch but i think he under estimated Menace a tad...

so vote - Menace

3-0 KO... MenaCe Wins