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Gettin back into writting again

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:22 am
by Mass Effex
Half of a verse. Something I wrote real quick.

No time to think, act quick cause ya choice locks.
Speak ya mind, shoot ya brain out ya voice box.
Speakin words more clear, the type to bring war fear.
Eat ya, I bet you thought they'd be a metaphor here.
you say it's easy, that proves you don't know squat.
Your comprehension is offensive to the whole spot.
ya not much deeper than fine clothes, I'd rather be
blind than see while I'm makin' my eyes close.
That's how it is, or how it's used to seeming how
It's America, I guess I'm just lucid dreaming now
Sorry if I jump around, I tend to speak wrong...
I guess I just got way too much to speak on
It's only a couple minutes, please, just suffer through it.
you may learn a thing or too on how the fuck to do it.
It's almost completely up, the better man's the one who can't speak,
not one who's got lips and keeps 'em shut.

Re: Gettin back into writting again

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:32 am
by complexity
Mass Effekt wrote:Half of a verse. Something I wrote real quick.

No time to think, act quick cause ya choice locks.
Speak ya mind, shoot ya brain out ya voice box.

Ridiculous line

Speakin words more clear, the type to bring war fear.
Eat ya, I bet you thought they'd be a metaphor here.

I've tried concepts like this before, they just don't work that good.

you say it's easy, that proves you don't know squat.
Your comprehension is offensive to the whole spot.

Ok.

ya not much deeper than fine clothes, I'd rather be
blind than see while I'm makin' my eyes close.

Hmmm

That's how it is, or how it's used to seeming how
It's America, I guess I'm just lucid dreaming now

Good

Sorry if I jump around, I tend to speak wrong...
I guess I just got way too much to speak on

One more rhyme with that scheme, I think would have done it. Cool enough.

It's only a couple minutes, please, just suffer through it.
you may learn a thing or too on how the fuck to do it.

Sure

It's almost completely up, the better man's the one who can't speak,
not one who's got lips and keeps 'em shut.
Three Reasons I liked this drop

1. Flow

2. Flow

3. That first line.

Three Reasons I didn't like this drop

1. Genericness

2. Pretentiousness

3. Lack of creativity.

-------------------------

Good to see you in scriptures. I know that you have some major talent to display. You just need to learn to utilize it better, which comes with the territory.

Re: Gettin back into writting again

Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:12 am
by Mass Effex
Thanks for the feed.