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Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:46 am
by Arvincible
No mas after this...
Ill have u murked and smile, then quickly disperse ya style,
they call my shit hot still ur verse is mild, u not worth the while,
i spit well rounded..perfect,-while u a square like surface tiles,
How u claim to be versatile? u illiterate prick get a sense or two
quit forcing up some tension, just cuz nobody ever mentions u
spent-the-two last years on my nuts, disstape's ur intentions' proof
ur just out for vengeance cuz ur a guy no one pays attention to..
but seriously, I don't take u seriously..u really needa get over it,
so its no reason to swing at me with fillers and mediocre hits
cmon, dont be mad at me cuz I release the doper scripts..
but lemme get this over with..I do apologize for exposin shit...
for the things I used to write when i was new to this site
for promoting how u recorded ur own brother losin a fight,
I'm sorry for telling people for amusement ur painful truths in life
Like the fact ur dad cocked u like a gun n left u abused at nights
for talkin about a beard on ya arranged marriage future wife,
for sayin the blatant things about u n how ur afraid of bacon
cuz Allah's children really believe that eating porkchops for satan
For puttin u on blast about u bombing the towers in 9/11
It's ok to hate me but im sorry..this is just ur final mention
I don't hate you man.. Happy Holidays
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:48 am
by complexity
I have no use for the second verse, but the first one was engineered perfectly.
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 1:59 am
by Quix
yup, you def fell off on that 2nd verse! ^ agreed!
nice drop though!!
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 5:18 am
by QwarterZ
For me the 2nd verse explains alot?
so I dug it...on the otherhand the first verse was still dope
I'm feeling this tho' letting out tension n whatnot
reminds me of some decent stuff Hip Hop used to have in it
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:02 pm
by Rtystik
i think the 2nd verse was still coo..took a different approach than the 1st i diggs it
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:39 pm
by complexity
I don't know what kind of context it really put the drop in.
"Like the fact ur dad cocked u like a gun n left u abused at nights
for talkin about a beard on ya arranged marriage future wife,
for sayin the blatant things about u n how ur afraid of bacon"
That just completely turned me off the verse, whether the rest was good or not, is irrelevant to the fact, that part seems odd.
I will say, that it is nice to see Arv tackling tons of concepts. That is the best way to expand on what you're capable of as a writer (in my opinion, if you don't mind me stating it Arv, I mean, it is my message, it most likely will be my opinion.)
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:40 pm
by Rtystik
i give props where it's due i ain't got no problem tellin him ion't like it ya digg..yu can get outta hea wit that one..to me the shit was nice
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 3:56 pm
by complexity
Rtystik wrote:i give props where it's due i ain't got no problem tellin him ion't like it ya digg..yu can get outta hea wit that one..to me the shit was nice
To be honest, I wasn't addressing your specific post at all. You're entitled to your opinion, I just felt to the need to elaborate. You give props, I'll give feedback, and we'll meet in the middle.
We need more females on this site, the last thing I'm trying to do is discourage that.
Welcome to the site, enjoy.
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 9:46 pm
by JHaze
i didnt really like the closer to be honest man but other than that this was really solid, good flow nice rhyme schemes and pretty consistent until the end, keep droppin fam peace out
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:06 pm
by The Gonz
I felt this. Like mentioned, the first verse was by far superior. The second verse was good, it definitely ripped open them old wounds. Could have been a lot more effective though. The first verse is definitely stand out though. Nice rhyme schemes and flow, nice jabs and multies. Good shit, dude.
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 8:27 am
by Rtystik
word and yeah i wasn't talkin to you plex mah bad
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 8:25 pm
by Arvincible
wow...get out now.
lets get some more real feedback here..
Re: Final Mention
Posted: Sun Dec 13, 2009 3:53 am
by P.T.R-ins
well by my opinion this woul;d be cool if there were no sicknes of other verse ,lyricly was tyt and flow was good