Hip Hop Forum

Alright, I'm workin' on my bars now

check

Absolute -
RECOGNIZE when you face-great, and that Battlin me was your FIRST mistake!
Now just for your name’s-sake, Ima make it so you too can have customizable face-plates!/1
(2nd bar was weak as far as punch goes but the multi was ok 6/10)

He shakes, this “pawn” messed with the king of chess, you could get your whole life “repossessed”/
Deplete you breathe, I’m “Frodo the bad gamer“!! How I give 360 “the ring of death”!!/2
(Nice word and name play here, figured someone would use Ring of Death against 360 eventually – 7/10)

Nigga Step!! Second mistake was under-estimating yourself, you see../
This nigga’s a square! So His name defies geometry!/3
(Kind of a weak personal and “you see/geometry” is a weak rhyme structure 4/10)

You hot as me? YEAH…that’ll happen, (holdin back laughin), B you should quit rappin/
You don’t have “half a chance” the way I put “one over 360” like large fractions!/4
(I like the last bar made me chuckle 6/10)
Tough love, I have hard passion! Completely Mad Max him! …IS there a finish?/
Add another win to my records, guiness! Cuz I can beat “3” 20 times in “60 minutes”!/5
(Didn’t like the first line of this bar “Mad Max him?” Closer was kind of weak but I got the meaning 5/10)
360 -
I saw your Absolut ad in a mag I was readin'
an Absolut Fag bottle shaped like a penis
(WTF 360? 3/10 at least it rhymed)

If you're Absolute, I'm Bacardi 151
so take shots, but you'll never burn like 360 does
(2/10 this one didn’t rhyme at all!)

My saliva's flammable, so when I spit you better dodge it
cause I always have a lighter in my sweatshirt pocket
(You lost me with the sweatshirt pocket, don’t just rhyme for the sake of rhyming…make sense man! 3/10)

You're bland, so people feel the need t'mix in the flavor
You're so weak I take your shots without drinkin' a chaser
(Best bar out the verse 6/10)

How you gonna act cocky ? You're an absolute pussy
If I was Canibus, you'd be LL singin' Pink Cookies
(I understand what you were trying to say but the delivery was totally weak 4/10)


Abs – 28/50
360 – 18/50
Pretty one-sided for it to be a very weak battle guys. Work on the punches and complexity of your verses to match with the competition here.

Vote = Absolute

Riggz wrote: If you're Absolute, I'm Bacardi 151
so take shots, but you'll never burn like 360 does
(2/10 this one didn’t rhyme at all!)

I appreciate the detailed feedback, but I don't understand what you mean when you say that line doesn't rhyme.

fifty one
sixty does

?

Catsweep for Ab...nuff said

360 wrote:

Riggz wrote: If you're Absolute, I'm Bacardi 151
so take shots, but you'll never burn like 360 does
(2/10 this one didn’t rhyme at all!)

I appreciate the detailed feedback, but I don't understand what you mean when you say that line doesn't rhyme.

fifty one
sixty does

?

Hmmm ok, I'll give you that. "One/does" how could I have missed that

Riggz wrote:

360 wrote:

Riggz wrote: If you're Absolute, I'm Bacardi 151
so take shots, but you'll never burn like 360 does
(2/10 this one didn’t rhyme at all!)

I appreciate the detailed feedback, but I don't understand what you mean when you say that line doesn't rhyme.

fifty one
sixty does

?

Hmmm ok, I'll give you that. "One/does" how could I have missed that

Heh, yea, it's all good. I was just wondering what you were seein' that I wasn't. Anyway, I appreciate your detailed opinion of my work because I know it needs improvement.

happy new year

cat sweep absolute break down if you must have one but it was onesided

Absolute Wins By KO..





"Moved N Updated"