Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Fri Jan 29, 2010 8:40 am**

twisted inner catastrophies dragging me down like gravity
known as dastardly like my conscious is suffering from atrophy
cops are constantly after me cause of all my nasty deeds
i been past the breach soul's damaged angels laugh at me
still suffering from negativity cant blame it on ethnicity
lately my ethics be placed seprately from whats next to me
cant stop pressing these criminal activities where my prefence be?
a criminal first and human second cause these putrid weapons
with a lumin presence keep me from the good food an presents
itching to ruin sessions with this sick fluid compression

Posted: **Sat Jan 30, 2010 10:22 am**

I liked this....very solid piece from top to bottom

twisted inner catastrophies dragging me down like gravity
known as dastardly like my conscious is suffering from atrophy

as always the beginning is dope as FUCK!

Posted: **Sat Jan 30, 2010 12:13 pm**

yeah agreed, the opener was the best bar for sure, the vocab is one of the biggest thing's that stood out, the rhyme's its self flowed well, but it was still pretty basic you know, good shit

Posted: **Thu Feb 04, 2010 2:14 pm**

Solid piece, just your transitions from rhyme scheme to rhyme scheme fell off towards the end. Maybe its just my prefernce, but its always better to not drop your rhyme scheme cold turkey. it throws the reader off. again this is me just being over critical.

Posted: **Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:27 am**

first bar was the best by far hommie ... and i loved it!! lol

nice lil piece here fam!

Posted: **Fri Feb 05, 2010 6:08 am**

nice multies and word play as usual Defi

"a criminal first and human second cause these putrid weapons
with a lumin presence keep me from the good food an presents"

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