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Re: Baby Girl Part 1 of 4
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:24 am
by Riggz
Dude, few will read this in it's entirety.. might want to break it up into Sequals. I can see it working out better with Part I, Part II, etc... right now I and most on this board will dedicate 30-60 seconds on a post.. which covers about your first two verses.. after that our attention span goes flat line.
Re: Baby Girl Part 1 of 4
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 2:29 pm
by Riggz
cool beans my man.. make it 2 verses and move me to the next chapter. Last place I left off, she was pulling him closer, with the passion joint. almost like an Erotica Novel.
Re: Baby Girl Part 1 of 4
Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 8:14 am
by QwarterZ
I agree....you need to post the other parts in different threads....
other then that I'll comment on ONE @ this moment
cuz I want to write myself
there was flow, there was emotion....there was reality
What’s beyond door #1 lies an unexpected second door
He sticks his hand out n' presses forward n' says let’s explore
He kicks down her door n' her soul becomes soft spoken
Once he’s in he never stops because he knows her locks broken
^^^^^^^^dope imagery....
I'm feeling the way you wrote this simply cuz it's a topic people could touch on
and realize whats trully going on....it's not a imaginative process....
people would appreciate the realness of this IF they read it....otherwise....keep writing!