Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:21 am**

Pain is a valence so I remain in this balance/
Feel like I'm wastin my talents so I'm always chasin a challenge/
Escapin the talons of this american eagle/
Swearin its evil, plagued with arrogant people/
But I'm aware of the needles injecting their lies/
We accept it in stride, it reflects in our pride/
Kids enlisting to feel more alive, immortalized/
But I ignore the guise, in search of a normal life/
Put the war behind and focus ahead/
With hope as the bread to keep most of us fed/
Some look to the sky and pray extensively/
While I'm just lookin inside with the same intensity/
I don't praise an entity or believe in deities/
They breed and teach disease, I've seen the greed increase/
I've seen em bleedin green, whether cash or camouflage/
Wish I could take hold of the masses and smash the handles off/

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Posted: **Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:11 am**

Idk if they were supposed to go hand in hand but the first one focused more on money this one more on war...nevertheless i see a link between... But with the religion dimension it complicated the point...which for written is goodd... cuz it stimulates....good drop..by the way i was feeling these bars

Some look to the sky and pray extensively/
While I'm just lookin inside with the same intensity/
I don't praise an entity or believe in deities/
They breed and teach disease, I've seen the greed increase

Posted: **Wed Apr 14, 2010 11:57 am**

Pain is a valence so I remain in this balance/
Feel like I'm wastin my talents so I'm always chasin a challenge/
Escapin the talons of this american eagle/
Swearin its evil, plagued with arrogant people/
But I'm aware of the needles injecting their lies/
We accept it in stride, it reflects in our pride/
Kids enlisting to feel more alive, immortalized/
But I ignore the guise, in search of a normal life/
Put the war behind and focus ahead/
With hope as the bread to keep most of us fed/
Some look to the sky and pray extensively/
While I'm just lookin inside with the same intensity/

Not a flaw. 10.

Not saying the rest was Bad but u snapped with That piece of the Verse.

Good shit

Posted: **Thu Apr 15, 2010 3:08 am**

Dope shit, as usual, nothing above par, but a dope
consistent piece nonetheless, multies, flow, transitions,
everything was on point, the opener was sick, could've
ended a little stronger yet still an all around solid verse

Posted: **Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:10 am**

Ruckus wrote:Pain is a valence so I remain in this balance/
Feel like I'm wastin my talents so I'm always chasin a challenge/

Yup. I feel like that too.

Escapin the talons of this american eagle/
Swearin its evil, plagued with arrogant people/

Good rhyming.

But I'm aware of the needles injecting their lies/
We accept it in stride, it reflects in our pride/

Alright.

Kids enlisting to feel more alive, immortalized/
But I ignore the guise, in search of a normal life/

Pretty straight. In search of normal lives would have worked to.

Put the war behind and focus ahead/
With hope as the bread to keep most of us fed/

Alright.

Some look to the sky and pray extensively/
While I'm just lookin inside with the same intensity/

Inside myself? That was a great bar. Highlight of this piece.

I don't praise an entity or believe in deities/
They breed and teach disease, I've seen the greed increase/

First bar was a great setup, I was a bit disappointed in the second.

I've seen em bleedin green, whether cash or camouflage/
Wish I could take hold of the masses and smash the handles off/

Alright.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

A few VERY rare mistakes in this drop, in my opinion, that wouldn't be flaws to someone else, but I'm sure that you noticed, or maybe I'm just being picky, well I know I am, because this was ILL. Keep going with this series.

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