Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:03 am**

Aiyo Im valiant n raw, is it challenging? naw
Im challenging all ...like yall aint got no talent at all
All I need to suceed is my gallance n gaul
Enough to even out the odds if the balance is flawed
Do Battle wit da shadows on the canvas in halls
As i walk thru the valley and I lamite the walls
Any chance of a resistance isnt granted at all
Deep, heavy on in demand like titanic withdrawls
Looking from my standpoint my vantage is tall
Cuz when Im hitting 6th gear all ya stamina stalls
Its the world ronnound champ watching amatuers brawl
Critics study me cuz im nuts like examining balls
Putting me to the test I wasnt cramming at all
Ya girls the one wit brains so i swam in her jaws
Im only running cuz these narcs be tryna slam me with raw
Judge thought i was being smart i said "I ran for the cause"

Posted: **Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:49 am**

This was purdy dope, I kinda get why you called it multiplex
makes sense, I'm diggin' how you went through the whole thing using the same rhyme....? well you know what I mean lol

Its the world ronnound champ watching amatuers brawl
Critics study me cuz im nuts like examining balls
^^^^^^^^^that's the only part that had me like...UGH

Posted: **Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:52 am**

Nice structure and dope scheme. Flowed pretty nice too. Good drop.

Posted: **Wed Apr 21, 2010 10:32 am**

K KiLLaH wrote:Aiyo Im valiant n raw, is it challenging? naw
Im challenging all ...like yall aint got no talent at all

Dope rhyming, just nice.

All I need to suceed is my gallance n gaul
Enough to even out the odds if the balance is flawed

Alright.

Do Battle wit da shadows on the canvas in halls
As i walk thru the valley and I lamite the walls

Decent.

Any chance of a resistance isnt granted at all
Deep, heavy on in demand like titanic withdrawls

No.

Looking from my standpoint my vantage is tall
Cuz when Im hitting 6th gear all ya stamina stalls

Decent.

Its the world ronnound champ watching amatuers brawl
Critics study me cuz im nuts like examining balls

First line was better.

Putting me to the test I wasnt cramming at all
Ya girls the one wit brains so i swam in her jaws

No.

Im only running cuz these narcs be tryna slam me with raw
Judge thought i was being smart i said "I ran for the cause"

Good.

Alright. The flow was obviously on point. The idea that you put yourself under the pressure to keep a continuous rhyme scheme is impressive. I think that you could have focused on a simpler rhyme with more options.

I can't fault you for this piece at all though.

6/10

Posted: **Fri Apr 23, 2010 10:42 am**

Impressive K. The entire 8 bars in concurrent rhyme structure.. not easy to do. Nice man. And still a lot of quotables too.

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