Hip Hop Forum

ladies and gentle man tonights main event
UFO vs.(insert name)
round 1. dude came out strong swinging
repeatin songs n writtens
but it was nt long, b 4 i started hittin em
wit shit of the dome n a million
of raw renditions of pure lyrisicms
cauhgt em off guard while he was playin to the crowd
hit em hard that i scarred his loudmouth
hit him wit verbs n nouns now he s wobblin now
fuked him up so bad he almost got knocked down
continue the beatdown until the bell sounds
tryed to walk to his corner but then he fell down
round 2.it was more of the same
continued to batter this man hittim him like a batterin ram
killed his whole game
n all his chit chatter n rants
tryed to swing but his punches didnt land
dropped skills so insane i made em piss in his pants
n his blood splattered on his fans
when i came
wit the multies, punchlines
i str8 embarressed this man
n with one last punch i dead this clown
thats it battles over ko d in the second round

Did canibus not have a second round ko... but he killed that...... Bro i did not see even one metaphor in there??? Just story tellin...which was not that good... Just givin the critic like i should duke,,,, get ya weight up

it would make sense if we knew who you was going at and why?
I mean not EVERYONE could have a Round Two KO...if this was too the beat it'd sound decent
but I don't know exactly what you were tryna prove
if it's for your better then SHOW ME
don't talk about it just let your lyrics do the talking
and no NOT figurativly! keep writing tho' bruh
you'll get better!

I liked this. It was simple but I'm not really sure what approach you was trying to take here. If you were going into a "battle type" verse then you failed. Too basic, lack of punches, metas, everything. But I like the story telling.