Hip Hop Forum

yesterday done came and went
i start every day with the same intent
make things change turn that change to cents
but my ways r ingrained i cant change them...
and i cant make sence of this senceless life
feel like im trudgin through the trenches of endless strife
the devils henchmen close behind
but i cant let em win
im to willin to grind
been through to much
killed to much time
lost to much
but i still try
no matter how tough
they wont stop my shine
ill stand em single file
and hit em one at a time
do it with a smile
and call it a punch line
record the whole thing
and upload the highlight clips
slow it down and call it my greatest hits
get em some angel soft so they can handle all the shit
then choke em like chickens since they wanna act like a dick
and show em one of their asshole buddies next time they wanna spit

yo bro change your structure up look at other cats and kinda mimic thier structure on the other hand your flow was choppy here and there it was very simple but you will get better in time. look at other people try to use multis and work on getting some metaphors in. dont get down on yourself you can get good just keep working on it and keep dropn

This one is a big fall off comparing it to ur last one... but please... construct bars or lines...cuz i got lost in them (/) every three words....But keep droppin duke...