Hip Hop Forum

I'm tryna make sense of it
I'm left in this sudden twist
all I could say is FUCKIN' BITCH
I hate your guts, anything did
is done, so get over the love n list...en
before I put you into position
put you on the ground and leave you there
I want to let you go but I need to care
I hate it cuz I ain't been seein' clear
all I need is your grasp and your love
your lips and all we have become
a intertwined addiction
I think I'm slippin'
in and out of a coma, I hope ya
can hear me screamin'!!!!!!
the world has gotten slower
the position is over my shoulder
you got people rubbin' my back
tellin' me I shouldn't be coming back
FUCK THAT I need one more hit
one more touch and one more kiss
hey baby I know you got me lost n hollow
but Im swellin' up inside a broken bottle

I like the basic concept, and for the most part it'd structured relatively well. I think you could up your vocabulary a little bit, but for what it was, it was pretty decent. Good job, keep droppin etc.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

I liked this. The flow was on point and you can tell you wrote it to a beat.

Favorite line is your last one..

"hey baby I know you got me lost n hollow
but Im swellin' up inside a broken bottle"

Its madd descent... Wayyyy different from the ussual i see u drop...good topic and nice emotion with this piece... I see it could be bout a few things... its good that its left open for interpretation...tho i have to agree with Jack...the best like was the last..

DECENT. The Raw (Or Pseudo-Raw) Emotion Was The Backbone Of This, That's What This Drop Was About imo. Flow Was Cool, But im Not Worrying About That Or Rhyming Or Whatever Technicalities This Drop Lacked (Sorry, But it's True). But All The Same im Sure That's Not What u Were Going For And The End Product, Emotions Running Through ur Head Translated into Words. Keep Droppin.