Hip Hop Forum

My Life

This is the story of my life, written in this pages
The way that i was raised, through different stages
I grew up as a poor kid, my family had no money
Always optimistic I made my rainy days look sunny
It's funny! the Easter bunny never knew my name
Christmas was the same, all my life Santa never came
My life is lame, i wanna end this fucking struggle
It seems like everywhere i go, i find only trouble
I feel like the boy in the bubble, a lifeless puzzle! Empty
Feeling broke in a million pieces, like Humpty Dumpty
The whole fucking world is falling on my shoulders
Living a hard knock life, like rock hard boulders
The pain that i carry is entertaining and scary
Im a sad comedian, my tears are imaginary
Keep my fears hidden, "the show must go on"
Forbidden to be sad, cant show it, must move on

Chorus:
I wake up every morning
Looking at my life
With one eye on the trigger
The other on the knife
The shit in my life
Is getting bigger
All i wanna do...
Is pull this god damn trigger.


I wish my wish came true, at least one of my wishes
The one that asks life, to stop being so fucking vicious
So delicious! the life of others! seems like it's unfair
I feel trapped in a square of hatred and out of air
So hardcore, the door that closes behind my back
Blocks the sun from my view, making my life black
Black like a shadow, so shallow and fucking empty
I have no friends at all! even if I used to have plenty
Almost twenty years later, and a lot of tears and hater
View all of my fears, gathered around this crater
Crater that i call my life, my whole life's been like this
Feels like God took a shit on my lifeless life full of piss.
This is the story of my life, this here is my story
The dreams that i had, now they are all history
I had chances to succeed but they were taken away
Didn't had money to buy other chances, or faith to pray


Chorus:
I wake up every morning
Looking at my life
With one eye on the trigger
The other on the knife
The shit in my life
Is getting bigger
All i wanna do...
Is pull this god damn trigger.

Outro:

This is it , i'm done with it
This is my last verse
Put an end to this curse.
What i thought was a cure
Just made things worse
This is it... my last verse.

My lyrics and my rhymes
Saved me a lot of times,
They were my cure,
And...
Once again, they want me
Memories from the past
Came back to haunt me.

The pain that i carry is entertaining and scary
Im a sad comedian, my tears are imaginary
Keep my fears hidden, "the show must go on"
Forbidden to be sad, cant show it, must move on

Got deep toward the end of the first verse... nice meaning... dope

So hardcore, the door that closes behind my back
Blocks the sun from my view, making my life black
Black like a shadow, so shallow and fucking empty
I have no friends at all! even if I used to have plenty

I think the reuse of words is not a good thing... but here if i spit it out loud i can make it sound right.. hmmm .. i write for audio everytime so this is good in MY book.. dunno how other will feel about it

Crater that i call my life, my whole life's been like this
Feels like God took a shit on my lifeless life full of piss.

This right here is an example of it not working ... to my eyes and ears... plus its bout shit n piss... well U can use other words for life... that would have fit or reworded ur paragraph well

any way i like the whole style and structure.. just elevate ur word play and metas...and u ready to go

thanks man! english is my second language... maybe that's why it sounds a little choppy! appreciate the feedback!

you droppin' a lot of work, I guess it's alright
I mean you gettin' better from each off the wall rhyme
keep droppin', but let time pass....like you in a stall right?
either way nice piece, keep it up like the walls might