Hip Hop Forum

You like atmosphere man? I picture this joint like a Sluggo piece.

young_jobe wrote:Deaf Shady.. U callin me Eninem? ...Im black, two: Eninem is cold, so DF U TALKN BOUT?? If gne tlk noise, do it properly little bitch nigga.. I'm jst remembering what U told me..

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Stop posting dumbass messages.

The air is poetry line, the snake skin, the acrobat line, path to success, to name a few were dope as hell.

Great structure, metaphors, and wordplay.

I'd say it resembles some of the pieces that I use to write but that would take credit away from this drop.

Absolutely ill. You're not only one of the best writers I've seen on this site, and most original, but on any site.

Keep it up. Write like hell now because you never know when this body of work will becoming intimidating, and psychologically it may be hard to top some of your previous drops, if you can stay away from that issue, the skies the limit.

overall this was a nice piece the beginning was nice

And revenge is so sweet, I can taste it//
Imma take the stage n' break a leg, but not like Drake did//
My heart is made of steel, I dare you to break in//
I got anxiety taking over, trying to shed it like snake skin//

liked your content and your metaphors in this part flow was great

I grew up in a glass house, but the glass was cracked//
Always caving in, Bruce Wayne, just a falling acrobat//
Dead silence, even though the sounds are there//
Emotions so bottled up, I could drown in air//

another really good part in my eyes flow again was near perfect i felt you could have added one word in the last line of this part but still great.

From the streets, no direction, yet life was full of signs//
A rolling stone, 'LOOK OUT" mountain, here comes the school of "minds"//
Don't let the door hit ya ass, can't afford the collision//
Cuz when I was a kid, no quarter was asked, so no quarter was given//
No rain, ya getting snowed on, better bundle a sweater//
What's wrong, why you shaking? you look a little under the weather//

another great part flow again was perfect good content nothing forced at all nice metaphors like it..

overall this piece was really good i actually went over it twice. Your starting to get where you are getting your metaphors down better you have the flow down pretty much perfect. keep dropping stuff like this and soon you will be one of the top all around dudes on the site

My heart is made of steel, I dare you to break in//
I got anxiety taking over, trying to shed it like snake skin//
But because of my intrepid past, I'm callused, skin's too thick//
Like cut hands to broken glass, I'm one who's really been through shit//

This was just put together well... written to they way that spitting it would be effortless.. Nice

Dead silence, even though the sounds are there//
Emotions so bottled up, I could drown in air//
Yes I think back -- I nev' lived on the writers block//
Best believe that -- my headphones help the sirens stop//

This is just ..... tight... i quoted it cuz i like it nothing more

Keep that tongue tucked, no words are said//
Let actions speak, cuz my path to success has road work ahead//
From the streets, no direction, yet life was full of signs//
A rolling stone, 'LOOK OUT" mountain, here comes the school of "minds"//

I think the first bar stands alone and shows u a glimpse of ya determination.. and the second line shows where its coming from... just me.. might be reading into it too much.. but it seems effortless

No rings on my finger, no "hitch-hiking" like my thumbs stuck//
I got more light bouncing off the moon than the sun does//

Hot bar

All I do is breathe words, so I guess the air is poetry//

Great ending with this one... Gives it a lil poetic justice....
Now for the Blah Blah Shit was Dope Keep Writing Meh Meh meh... but for real u prolly top 3 in dropping writtens here right now... Good reading and elevation potential for me just by inspiration... ups

New day -- same show, life's a re-run//
Screw faith -- I'll believe in miracles when I see one//

best bar.... this was epic

All I do is breathe words, so I guess the air is poetry//

best line!

Keep at it!

9,5/10