Hip Hop Forum

slipping with my eyes on the grand scheme
tryna provide for my family
acting all right
but my minds snapping all nights
its proper my first strive is an oscar
but you don't understand me...
my plan b is a grammy
i yearn for success learned from the best
i deserve to be blessed insteada earning this stress
but its like its nothing but curses and vex
since my birth and my steps
but i work for the checks
the hunger inside is one of a kind
existanting since birth
i'm differant than norm biblically born
i guess its a gift and a curse
but is it a kiss from a rose
or a prick from a thorn...
but theres no difference i suppose
cause attempts of detecting its hell
wondering if all theses stabs in my back
are effecting my health
or are actually in fact
progress in itself
cause my skins shifted and breached apart
but it deters wind resistance
so i can reach the stars


one of the verses from the first track i'll drop from my mixtape that i just recently started working on again i'll probably scrap anything i've wrote so far for it besides this

Nice....

thanks, i'll drop some feedback on one of your pieces in a minute

nice man very nice i liked this line it reminded me of early Eminem

"i yearn for success learned from the best
i deserve to be blessed insteada earning this stress
but its like its nothing but curses and vex
since my birth and my steps
but i work for the checks"

nice tho man thumbs up

peace

i like da verse....the part lawgix pointed out was my favorite...doesnt seem like ur usual style tho...maybe its jst me..or cuz every line was noticably shorter than usual..ah well...itll b pretty dope on audio tho..dats for sure...

yeah i wrote it kinda different i usually bar my shit out but i got lazy with this and just ended most lines wherever i felt like it

i'll hit ya'll back with the feedback this track'll probably be done in a week or so

can't wait to hear it man