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The Immortal

Posted: Fri Jul 09, 2010 12:47 pm
by Audible Thought
[youtube]kx8ep1bKYMw[/youtube]

Lyrics:
Here's a fast fact im an emcee with the passion
to leave the mic blown with musical rations
killin emcees in the shadows like assassins
you cant see me but can feel the tracks that im slashin
i grab the mic with intentions to illuminate
faggots never understand thats why i demonstrate
in a mental state where the process of my cortex
never follows rules cuz im beyond the context
feds droppin bomb threats cuz i aint a pawn yet
i dont give fuck cuz im beyond their harness
its rawness style that got the crowds wild
ahead of the rest im still called a child
killed the rap instructor like my name was gomer pyle
the infrastructure dropped with the heavy bass pound
industry cant touch me now im off the ground
flying in the sky high bombarding with my sound
i got infinite potential in rippin instrumentals
writing scrolls with the pencil expose the transcendtal
thoughts of a sergeant in the army of the shamans
cursin rapper trespassers like the tomb of the tutankhamen
you dont hear this very often so it sounds illogic
my verses are equilavent to the works of prophets
you can not top this my rhymes are bottomless objects
i come to the surface just so i can stop this
madness in the soundwaves that the crowds praise
what the fuck are they listenin to it sounds insane
thats why i rip the stage rearrange their brains
to the working order leave em thinkin for days

80 proof in the booth spittin the absolut
crazy shit murder beats get away with it
you cant phase me bitch im a mass killer
with the power of the silverback gorilla

my tactics involve a form of black magic
its tragic straight madness many dont have it
i damage and ravage call me a savage
all i need is a pen you mother fuckers need gadgets
go ahead and practice ill still be the king
with a killer bee sting binging on the ink
insertin uranium to the cranium of shady ones
always try to run but their fate has come
i distate you punks thinkin you're all big
with one strike ill snap you bitches like a twig
lost in the grid my stilo is like no other
deep below the speed boats lurkin under the covers
i never stutter never caught up in the gutta games
im untamed with this flow inflicting major pain
exposin all your problems like a heroin stain
comin faster than a hurricane feelin bane
let my verses rain like a never endin acid shower
devour power cuz the leaders are a bunch of cowards
thoughts are like the cn tower struck by lightnin
natural energy flows i dont need a hypeman
a killer villian dealin vicious blows to ur feelings
the realest spittin wizard cold blooded like a lizard
beginners take notes as i stroke the canvas
provoke a movement cuz i just cant stand this
im a rare universal monstrosity
if you think im not skilled try stoppin me

Re: The Immortal

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 4:47 am
by 2xS
Ok, IDK If Its Tha Effect U Used, Or Jus Ur Mic But That Quality Is Not That Great Lol. It Kinda Sounds Like You Ran Your Vocals Thru A Phaser? Go With A More Natural Sounding Effect. The Track IS Different, And I Like That, But Ya Emotion/Energy Is Kinda BLAH And It Jus Felt Like U Kept Draggin On N On N On. You Wanna Keep The Listener Intrigued By Tha Song So Switch It Up A Bit, Bring A Stern Voice At Times, Go High Pitched Here N There, Put Emphasis On Words, Etc. . .A Good Line I Saw:

i got infinite potential in rippin instrumentals
writing scrolls with the pencil expose the transcendtal

Also, Watch Your Syllable Count. Sum Of The Bars Were Stretched And Forced. Simple To Fix, Just Rearrange Words And Aim For Smaller Syllable Words So It Stays Smooth Ite? Overall, An Ok Track. Just Work On Things I Pointed Out And U Shud B Good.

Re: The Immortal

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:41 pm
by Deciple
dude, your flow is legit and your delivery is awesome.. the quality of the track is poor, but that can be lack of good equipment also.. your lyrics are dope.. the hook could be delivered a bit different IMO.. The beat was tight but the looping over and over was kinda getting to me by the end.. and i wasnt to fond of the pause between verse and hook... i was way digging your flow and all.. little bit more energy for the type of beat you have would have been nice.. i like the adlip job you did.. over all its a decent track.. keep pushing homie

Re: The Immortal

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:47 pm
by Audible Thought
thanks for the feed, this was recorded with a computer microphone lol, so the quality is shitty. i did the best i could with equalizers and filters but it always gets to me because i know it could sound so much better with a condenser mic. Im gettin some studio time in next week so some new and better tracks are comin

Re: The Immortal

Posted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 5:40 pm
by FlipSide
All u need is a mic.... u dope
........Wu-Tang Ish..........
liked the listen

Re: The Immortal

Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:53 pm
by Sentus
Mixing/ quality was bad on this, didn't sound well. Flow was pretty good, probably the best part of the track. Lyrics were alright, try using some more complex rhymes, it makes everything sound better.