Hip Hop Forum

[Introduction]
A champion is an immaculate conception of natural selection.
the embodiment of the secret to success his statue like his words stands correct
throughout time regardless of the media and press
we try to be obedient to this idea of seeing success
some fear being the best, we use the opportunity as a way to express the direct affect the stress we possess has on our flesh
being a champion is defining what is probable by defying what is logical
its why I am unstoppable

[Complexity]
I redefined mind over matter with rhymes and patterns that I combined in this final chapter/
this time I stand higher than the flyest rapper by a little giant ladder and I got my style mastered/
I push back at a violent bastard like a chiropractor until his cervical spine is fractured/
his career will spiral backwards faster than a child actor when his mind is scattered by a firecracker/
then I'll ride a tractor over his head, he'll survive disaster and I'll die of laughter/
any record I could find to shatter, I did it in my prime, because I knew times a factor/
I'm kinda flattered that even a biased rapper admits that I grew in both size and stature/
crazy enough I caused a riot after I surprised a pastor when I brought back the tribe of asher/

[Mutual]
Perceived A Reflection I'm Relieved From Perfection,Demonstrating Ingenious Deceptions
Convenient Complexions Not So Leaneant In Sections That Got These Deviants Obsessing
I Was Born To Lead But Scorned With Deed So Awful With Morbid Dreams
Torn It Seems Forgotton To Be Mourned With Glee And Yet Still Drawn With Fiends
This Night Seems Perfect When I Write Lyrics Merge With My Light Like A Circuit
The Fights Seem To Purge Shit A Delight But Not Right In My Sight Being Nervous
I Once Sifted Through Clear Skies In Shift To Insist A Gift From Queer Guy
Mift He Missed The Shear Signs And Twists His Fist And Acts Pissed With Feared Rhymes

[Complexity]
yo yo, facing plex in a battle rhyme that's like being being trapped at a chappel in Palestine/
I made it to the top of the scaffold with a gradual climb after I had a bad decline/
smashed that traffic sign, went to grab a grapple line that's design was thinner than an apple vine/
I'm a winner, too many factual finds, I would have dazzled the fragile mind of albert einstein/
it was a matter of time before I'd shatter the spine of a sluggish rapper, blood would splatter/
I carved up my subject matter like a puppet master, but that's another chapter/
that's just as much a factor, fuck the critics, I'm sick of the tips from these shit sources/
so pissed that I set dick morris on fire in a thick forest with sticks and lit torches/
I take pleasure in others misfortunes, i laugh at the fat and lazy even patrick swayze/
I'm bat shit crazy, infected a cat with rabies and had him attack a batch of catholic babies/
I practiced daily to be able to rap these keys and slay these teens like a fatal scene/
even my greatest scheme I notice more blemishes than J Lo without her maybelline facial cream/
go ahead and chase that dream, but you making it to the mainstream is make believe/
wait and see you'd have better luck on a dating spree with katy perry and rachelle leah/
I'm a great emcee without a worthy foe, I serve a pro with a universally perfect flow/
nervous though on murder row because I'm the first to go in this disturbing circus show/

[Mutual]
Arrived To Rap Let Slide Inspite Of That,Realised They're In The Depths Of My Rhymes
Step So Unkind, Malicious No Respect In My Lines, No Thoughts To Wreck The Sublime
A Threat In My Mind And The Shadow That Follows Me Doesnt Fit My Description
Fixed In Position, Clipped Stripped Of Ability And Was Given The Sickness Of Wisdom
No Reality It's Been All Fiction The Manuscript Didnt Say I Would Encounter A Mistake
The Doubter Of The Hate A Plethora Of Options Which Road? It's The Longer One He Takes
Scare Monger To The Greats My Thoughts Thought Which Gave An Echo In My Cranium
Voices Of A Stadium The Choices Were Amazing Them Rejoices Of Me Saving'em
But I Kept My Cool Watched Each And Every Step Was Fooled With A Deeper Readings
A Beast That Feasts On Fiending Devours People With A Screech,A Speech Of Meaning
The Crowd Cheers To Shroud Their Loud Fears Of Sound From Around Peers Astound Ears
A Mound Leers In As Tough Surrounds Here But They Looked Closer And Found Tears
So Now Perceptions Are Stretched No Connections Are Fetched Perplexions Of Death
No Acceptions To Depths And This Hater Thinks He Hard Cus His Erections' Not Left
Corrections Of Breath The Word Of Mouth Turns There Route With Concerning Doubts
Earning Shouts From Best And Like The Sun You Go Millenia Before You See Me Burning Out

Dammm, the intro was nice had an original poetry feel to it and i liked it, Plex's verse was dope the multies the craziness to it was good had a solid flow all the way through i liked it

This is kind of like your coming out party and in my opinion, not only did you keep up with me, but at times you surpassed me, i.e. the beginning of the second verse.

The first verse started out extremely strong. Despite a few grammatical flaws that you surely want to fix in the future. The only line that came off as a bit odd to me is the queer guy one.

The second verse initially left me extremely impressed. After I got over the happiness that you really brought one of your best verses yet, I looked at it more critically and once again realized the only thing holding it back from being excellent was grammatical mistakes. You told stories within rhymes, within your story, that should leave everyone worried about what you have in store, in the near future. Oh yah, and the inner rhymes, don't think them went overlooked either.

As for myself, I think I explained it quite well in that final verse. Sometimes the smallest rhymes tell the biggest story.

I'm a Champion

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/champion-vt8003.html

Still a Champion

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/champion-vt14388.html

Plex, thanks alot for the detailed feed, i just need to know what you mean by Grammatical errors?

- Mutual - wrote:Plex, thanks alot for the detailed feed, i just need to know what you mean by Grammatical errors?

Words that shouldn't be used as adjectives, pronouns, verbs, nouns, adverbs, but you make them to do it for the convenience of rhyming.

For example.

"A Mound Leers In As Tough Surrounds Here But They Looked Closer And Found Tears"

Basically. That whole bar is improper english. It won't take you many more months to completely master that aspect of rhyming. I wouldn't worry about it much.

ahh i get you thanks man

The intro Was Ok... Kinda Long Tho... :/... The verse Mutual Dropped Was Sick... Ive read this a few times already and feel good inspiritation... Plex Dont drop enough in my opinion... I Rather read this ten times than others... But ehhhhh were given what were given... Personally i think adding the other dudes Diluted the Concept since Plex n mutual had most the bulk of the content... Not that they dropped anything bad or that i have anything bad to say Bout their verses... As A piece i feel it wouldve been better if they were omitted.. No Hate..

Step So Unkind, Malicious No Respect In My Lines, No Thoughts To Wreck The Sublime
A Threat In My Mind And The Shadow That Follows Me Doesnt Fit My Description
Fixed In Position, Clipped Stripped Of Ability And Was Given The Sickness Of Wisdom

This was just sick from mutual....

acting crazy, I infected a cat with rabies and had him attack a batch of catholic babies/
I practiced daily to be able to rap these keys and slay these teens like a fatal scene/
even my greatest scheme I notice more blemishes than J Lo without her maybelline facial cream/
go ahead and chase that dream, but you making it to the mainstream is make believe/
wait and see you'd have better luck on a dating spree with katy perry and rachelle leah/

I Thought this had some good metas in it... good flow as well ... couldnt find much wrong exept for the fact it was hard to find a sizeable quote in ur verse... oh and i would have like to see a bigger piece from you... over all its a great dysplay of skill by both u guys... uppin

thanks for the feed Flip much preciated

Thanks dudes.

JJ very spot on critic. I've learned a lot from the little feedback this piece has got.

GUYS them are lines directed at them dudes.

thanks TOYH Much Appreciated, oh did you write it at them Plex?

ohhhhhhhh rotflmao

See how plex didn't want to say much about me

ahhhhhh......ol' naughty head mu'fucka
either way this whole piece was dope, I'd leave better feed
but I'm at work

Word. I screwed up this collab a quite a bit.

All confusion should be gone.

I fixed it up a bit.

Thanks everyone for reading and I agree completely Mutual took himself to a new level.

thanks for the props dudes i didnt realise what i wrote would be that popular so much appreciation no doubt

Looks Better Now That I Know Plex Wrote The Other Verses... Nice Reread