Hip Hop Forum

6 bars
house rules

i'm key this up right now

peace brother and good luck

ABZ

-- Fri Aug 13, 2010 5:11 pm --

I'm honest,i like comics i'm dispalyed as a geek
I promsie,nothing but nonsense is what u be saying 2 me

Suggest u pray and u plead,or show bravery,an become prey to me
see in yer sig,u beleave u the shit,prolly where yer shades in the club

Defeating me kid? U lack the brain cells, from blazing yer buds
I'm fighter,yer a writer, so i'm start by breaking your thumbs

U Brave and u tuff? cuz u spent alittle time in jail
I bet they stole your cornbread, and your behind was nailed

I'm from The Windy bro,so its my time to sail
dude its your time 2 bail,u been swimming in bleach?dude u white as hell

u die, u fail....u write....i rap ryhmes..
left this cat fried,cracked spine,please,please dont use a corny 'abs' line



eh still rusty

knew ud use comic shit..haha...at least no 'abs' line haha

dope shit homie

abz:

I'm honest,i like comics i'm dispalyed as a geek
I promsie,nothing but nonsense is what u be saying 2 me

wtf does this mean? 1/5 for decent flow.

Suggest u pray and u plead,or show bravery,an become prey to me
see in yer sig,u beleave u the shit,prolly where yer shades in the club

i get it, cuz of the recent thread made, but still this was worded badly. 2/5

Defeating me kid? U lack the brain cells, from blazing yer buds
I'm fighter,yer a writer, so i'm start by breaking your thumbs

0/5 this was very bad.

U Brave and u tuff? cuz u spent alittle time in jail
I bet they stole your cornbread, and your behind was nailed

0/5 terrible.

I'm from The Windy bro,so its my time to sail
dude its your time 2 bail,u been swimming in bleach?dude u white as hell

1/5 for a weak attempt @ a personal

u die, u fail....u write....i rap ryhmes..
left this cat fried,cracked spine,please,please dont use a corny 'abs' line

0/5

total: 4/30 one of the worse verses ive read here..



rugg:

Lemme kill a joint or two, turn the tip of my pen into a jilted point of view//
BITCH!!! You from Chicago but I make "illa-noise(Illinois)" than you//

its pronounced illinoi, the 's' is silent, but i get it. decent wordplay 3/5

Sorry Peter Parker I'm The Punisher, in this movie the bully wins//
Can't fool me kid, he's gotta result to comic book characters to hide who he truly is//

3.5/5. good personal

Claims to rock that shit, something's crooked, you walk straight & play the opposite//
Beast as gay as aids, come out the closet kid, I don't need to "test this fag" to know AB's positive//

i liked this.. 4/5

Don't mean to drain ya confidence, I'm a dream-catcher, I think faster//
Fuck this weak actor, watch me "mark(Marc)" this "Singer" call me Beast's Master//

2/5, didnt like this one

Lay 'bricks' alright, get a job bud, even w/ a pencil you couldn't draw blood//
Beaches only place Abz will see a "tidal/title", in other words ya 'WASHED UP'//

washed up = played, shoulda just used the tidal as ur punch, 2.5/5

Now's the end, don't come around again, might just wanna go hang out w/ friends//
Cuz like ya avy I fucked you up, n' all you're gonna wanna do is vow revenge//

nahhh, 0.5/5
total: 15.5/30


rugg took this easily, more creativity was brought..


vote: rugg

Abz

'm honest,i like comics i'm dispalyed as a geek
I promsie,nothing but nonsense is what u be saying 2 me
no punch here
Suggest u pray and u plead,or show bravery,an become prey to me
see in yer sig,u beleave u the shit,prolly where yer shades in the club
this bar didnt rhyme :-S
Defeating me kid? U lack the brain cells, from blazing yer buds
I'm fighter,yer a writer, so i'm start by breaking your thumbs
punch didnt hit hard but i liked this bar
U Brave and u tuff? cuz u spent alittle time in jail
I bet they stole your cornbread, and your behind was nailed
lol ok personal here
I'm from The Windy bro,so its my time to sail
dude its your time 2 bail,u been swimming in bleach?dude u white as hell
concept failed you. if your going to diss someone on being pale you have to come fresh with it. you would have been better off with a "mislead" on this one
u die, u fail....u write....i rap ryhmes..
left this cat fried,cracked spine,please,please dont use a corny 'abs' line
weak closer. no punch here.

RUGGED

Lemme kill a joint or two, turn the tip of my pen into a jilted point of view//
BITCH!!! You from Chicago but I make "illa-noise(Illinois)" than you//
so/so opener... i've heard before but i am from the midwest lol
Sorry Peter Parker I'm The Punisher, in this movie the bully wins//
Can't fool me kid, he's gotta result to comic book characters to hide who he truly is//
lol ok personal
Claims to rock that shit, something's crooked, you walk straight & play the opposite//
Beast as gay as aids, come out the closet kid, I don't need to "test this fag" to know AB's positive//
NICE!!!
Don't mean to drain ya confidence, I'm a dream-catcher, I think faster//
Fuck this weak actor, watch me "mark(Marc)" this "Singer" call me Beast's Master//
good concept but i wasnt feeling the execution.
Lay 'bricks' alright, get a job bud, even w/ a pencil you couldn't draw blood//
Beaches only place Abz will see a "tidal/title", in other words ya 'WASHED UP'//
nice word play
Now's the end, don't come around again, might just wanna go hang out w/ friends//
Cuz like ya avy I fucked you up, n' all you're gonna wanna do is vow revenge//
punch didnt hit hard but i liked this bar

v/ Rugged
verse was well constructed. Punches were good. Good word play.
Abz i felt like alot of your verse didnt connect that well or lacked the UMPFF for the punch. Look for better concept and more direct punches.

2-0
i remember why i stopped battling.. i suck at it..hahahaha

man i need to stick making reg. audio tracks..lol

dope shit Rugged!

u still wanna do a topical round?


let me know plyer

Damn Rugged, you've improved... I'll vote later.

I vote rugged...


lmao

are topical battle is doooppee

I think Abz knows he lost this but here goes anyway.
People seem to be keen on this bar by bar breakdown...

I'm honest,i like comics i'm dispalyed as a geek
I promsie,nothing but nonsense is what u be saying 2 me

weak. No punch. I get what you're saying but this almost dissed yourself. 1/5

Suggest u pray and u plead,or show bravery,an become prey to me
see in yer sig,u beleave u the shit,prolly where yer shades in the club

An attempt at a personal, but not a good one. You need to add some wordplay to those punches. Also, the rhyming is weird because the first line rhymes with the last the second line rhymes with the next bar. 2/5

Defeating me kid? U lack the brain cells, from blazing yer buds
I'm fighter,yer a writer, so i'm start by breaking your thumbs

Had a personal, but no wordplay. Didn't punch. 3/5

U Brave and u tuff? cuz u spent alittle time in jail
I bet they stole your cornbread, and your behind was nailed

Same as above but not as good. Jail rape concept is played. 2/5

I'm from The Windy bro,so its my time to sail
dude its your time 2 bail,u been swimming in bleach?dude u white as hell

Another weak attempt at a personal. 2/5

u die, u fail....u write....i rap ryhmes..
left this cat fried,cracked spine,please,please dont use a corny 'abs' line

Again, nothing hitting hard here at all. 1/5


11/30

Most of those points were for a good flow but that was about all this verse had.

Lemme kill a joint or two, turn the tip of my pen into a jilted point of view//
BITCH!!! You from Chicago but I make "illa-noise(Illinois)" than you//

Weak opener. The wordplay would be good if it wasn't so played. 2/5

Sorry Peter Parker I'm The Punisher, in this movie the bully wins//
Can't fool me kid, he's gotta result to comic book characters to hide who he truly is//

Kind of weak. Some semblance of a personal but the bars seemed stretched. 2/5 (P.S. I think you meant resort, not result)

Claims to rock that shit, something's crooked, you walk straight & play the opposite//
Beast as gay as aids, come out the closet kid, I don't need to "test this fag" to know AB's positive//

Best line of the verse. A hard hitting personal punch with good wordplay. 5/5

Don't mean to drain ya confidence, I'm a dream-catcher, I think faster//
Fuck this weak actor, watch me "mark(Marc)" this "Singer" call me Beast's Master//

Another good personal with wordplay. Not as good as the one above but still good. 4/5

Lay 'bricks' alright, get a job bud, even w/ a pencil you couldn't draw blood//
Beaches only place Abz will see a "tidal/title", in other words ya 'WASHED UP'//

The personal hit weak but the wordplay was tight in the second line. Overall a good line. 4/5

Now's the end, don't come around again, might just wanna go hang out w/ friends//
Cuz like ya avy I fucked you up, n' all you're gonna wanna do is vow revenge//

Decent line but not a great one. Nothing special, especially for a closer. 3/5


20/30

Overall a pretty good verse but it was a mixed bag.


+1 Rugged.

4-0 TKO

good shit rugged, i'ma whoop u in the topical battle

I'll vote for Rugged too. That way its a clear 5-0.

-- Sun Aug 15, 2010 2:48 pm --

-locked-