Hip Hop Forum

Watch the ice cold cadence quickly shiver your mind/
Freezing your nerves, makes it easy to mimic a mime/
I awe strike listeners, hangin chins at they thighs/
So unpredictable, gotta psychics vision’s surprised/
Ever since my introduction to vocal hypnosis/
I roll wit the big guns, lyrical toasters in holsters/
Twice the infinite skill, that’s ochenta y ocho/
Never distracted by flaws, I’m on instance refocus/
Think you skilled? Then show your last proof to Allah/
Come test, get smacked, ultimately lose your honor/
If you’re afraid to end up in one of my two garages/
Then don’t bug me, I’m known to crush cucarachas/
I’m headed to these crews wit some Ebenezer Scrooge shit/
The rudeness, cussing while exiting a youth flick/
I’m havoc and chaos, a recipe for nuisance/
Just bring my competitors, machete and a toothpick/
Skeletons are useless to Siberian huskies/
Even dogs got taste, your criteria’s rusty/
Tackling dirty issues like a series of rugby/
So I don’t give a shhh, if the inferior judge me/
Depth’s I’ve devised rise from interstellar beings/
Visitation amnesia, you enter and exit meetings/
And subconscious alone is recollecting the meaning/
Whether it be the morning, afternoon or the evening/

I wanted to comment something on this since no one has yet. There are a couple lines here and there that are nice, but overall I'm just not feeling this. As far as the rhythm and rhyme I feel like your trying to make certain words flow together that, in my way of reading, just don't match up-- maybe if this was an audio piece, your vocal style could make it work, but to my reading voice it just didn't flow well. And aside from the flow, lyrically I guess I'm just not feelin' where your goin with this. Your basically just saying how cool you are and then defending yourself to whoever doesn't think your cool. But keep workin' on them lyrics and flows, cuz I think ya got some potential in your writing style, if you just figure out something worth saying.

This was just messin around wit word play, kinda like a freestyle format. Thx for the feedback thou