Hip Hop Forum

when u die..are you going 2 heaven or hell WHY?What will it be like?

8 bars

due sunday..

Checkin in on the confirming tip, 8 bars/16 lines comin' your way by Saturday/Sunday...

-- Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:27 pm --

Droppin this a bit early since my internet has been on the fritz, and I don't wanna miss the deadline...
________________

Baaammm! The piano slammed down on me like a meteorite from on high
Damn! I never thought I'd die at the hand of a music been with me all my life

But as my spirit flies, my fear inside dies and my pride- fades away
'Till I'm starin' in my own eyes, reflectin' on the path- that I paved

Then I'm asked by a voice, “Has your past been your choice or are you a fake?”
I laugh and I say, “This cat here's remained never phased by the phoney snakes.”

“Holy hell, well then you can chill wherever you will, just ring the bell- and away ya flow.”
“You mean my soul don't need to be sent to the deep pits or to the peaks of the unknown?”

“Well ya see, it's up to you, u can be the beacon peekin' through the veil of truth
Or you can set sail on the seven seas to impale the devilish Beast at his roots."

So I take hold of my years, and break for the cypher that's near, to spit a verse like a seer,
And in it I search for the mirror, tryin' to see my life's purpose clearer, overstandin' where I've steered.

Then suddenly I'm standin' in the midst of a phantom of my past that I'd cast as a phase,
Within it contained the innermost rain that had blasted a hole in my soul and my brain.

“But I surpassed it,” is what would say, when confronted with the ominous-pain,
“And now to myself I promise-to-paint a depiction innate of the heaven and hell I create.”

Murdered little kids,go around raping for fun.
Heroin? banging it up,never gave it up,Crazy? an gangster as fuck

Known for rearranging your guts..but 2day the tide changed.
Surrounded by five gangs,beaten & bloody.still admire there nice blades

My eyes fade, i awake at the pearly gates,seconds later,i'm hurled away
Falling and falling,finally land on a cliff!"ahhh i hurt my face"

emerged with hate...only 2 stand before the one who feeds on hatred
so many demons, and creeps in cages..Then he spoke.'U WILL BLEED 4 AGES

my face meets the pavement, as i'm struck with his powerful fist
I cower,then piss..seconds later i'm drowning in shit

back 2 earth? I'm found in ditch.leap 4 joy!only 2 be hit by a truck
back south? my skin frys then combusts,whys everyone trying my guts?

I scream!"are u finding this fun"?..he reply..."INDEED I AM"
shit! i need a plan..then my knees are jam? wtf?

i cant beleave this man!!...all my bones are gone????
Plus FOREVER..my soul is lost....AHHHH SAVE ME GOD.

"GOD ISNT HERE BOY"!!!!!!!!!!

Nice battle here. Both went in different directions and spit tight verses.

Fave lines from IC:

“Well ya see, it's up to you, u can be the beacon peekin' through the veil of truth
Or you can set sail on the seven seas to impale the devilish Beast at his roots."

I like the content and the flow was nice.

Then suddenly I'm standin' in the midst of a phantom of my past that I'd cast as a phase,
Within it contained the innermost rain that had blasted a hole in my soul and my brain.

Sick rhyme scheme on that bar there. AABBCDDEEC

Fave lines from Abz:

emerged with hate...only 2 stand before the one who feeds on hatred
so many demons, and creeps in cages..Then he spoke.'U WILL BLEED 4 AGES

Nice mutlies here.

Over all I'm giving my vote to Intrinsic Cadence. Both told a good story and used some nice imagery accompanied by tight flow. But I think IC's idea was more creative. Giving an option on where to go.

+ Intrinsic Cadence

Right first off both verses were sick as hell! Alot of imagery and imagination in both drops really enjoyed both peices but that said i think Abz peice was better.it created a better picture flow was nice overall a really good drop! so my vote to Abz

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

thnx 1-1

this was pretty close because i feel like both of yall could have done a much better job then you did. abz had an easier flow to follow and he also described all the things happening to him while he was in hell, which was cool. IC had some pretty cool shit in his verse too but to me it felt like dude really didnt go into much detail about what heaven was like. i kind of got lost in the story and didnt know what was going on really. i think for a topic like this there should have been a longer story to go into some good detail and really explain the topic and have us engulfed in the story but since this was short i would give the edge to Abz.

good battle from the both of you but i give it to Abz.

alright i finally got to reading this, both pieces were decent, i was hoping for more but its all good

intrinsic - you had some decent flow in there, but a lot of it felt rocky, i also didn't like the dialogue goin on, its cool but just wasn't feelin it, even though the topic is heaven or hell, it seems like you chose to take over hell (from my understanding) which was a nice little twist, it's hard to be completely original with a topic that's been done for ages, i also noticed you mention Beast, i've done subliminal disses in topicals as well.. if that was your intention, enjoyed that if it was lol...overall i'd rate it a 5/10


Abz the yeast infection - your flow was nice, you had some dialogue in there too but it wasn't over the top, the imagery was cool, the suffering section was a nice read, overall it was entertaining i'd give it a 6/10


vote: abz (it was closer then i expected)

he went all the way, intinid i felt you was ready for this shit and rushed
vote abz

^^ man some of you guys really suck at voting with your one liners, if all votes are accepted that is 4-1 abz

im not sure what you guys are goin for but this has been up for quite some time so if it's cool with sic and abz we can close this, update records, and move on...just sayin, sic its up to you since there's no specific rules for topicals (that im aware of)

That's cool, give this one to AbZ... I'd say he had a better story here anyway...

We should come up with a list of categories for a topical breakdown though, so future topical battles don't have such quick responses. How's a cat supposed to elevate without any kind of real feedback. Kau, Noble and Evo at least had somethin' to express about it.
Maybe categories like flow, storytelling, creativity, and staying on the topic would make for better breakdowns...

hm.. alright i'll set somethin up, i been meaning to anyways

-- Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:48 pm --

-record updated and closed-

Hey, doucher, move the topic next time! haha