Hip Hop Forum

I've had writer's block for a little while so I just started freestyling and writing down the good lines. After some rearrangement and editing I finished this verse which (more or less) goes along to the beat of The Champ is Here by Lupe Fiasco.

Critics fear when they hear me, really I'm simply a tyranny
appears to me that lyrically no peers are near my vicinity
recently occurred to me, I verbally murder with ease
words I speak, spark fear in hearts of earthly emcees
to dream of defeating me is seeing impossible imagery
my verse is sickening, i need a nurse's hospitable remedy
I slaughter the track when I rap, attack with minimal sympathy
and leave the beat history when I release my syllable symphony
I'm composing some notes, I'm just a maestro that writes
hype the crowd, they might bow, when my ice cold flows hit the mic
It's Divine, but still my skill is debated so I've waited
To display amazing greatness, its unreal how they hate it
They see, but don't believe how I've created such statements
but it's like I'm cleaning houses the way JJ done made it
To the speechless, just read this, as I'm repeating my thesis
I'm the most genius linguist you've seen since Biggie met Jesus
.....The Champ is Here

I slaughter the track when I rap, attack with minimal sympathy
and leave the beat history when I release my syllable symphony

Dope Ass Bar Here Bro

This Was alright compared to ur usual drops...It was Hot Compared to what i usually read here lol... dope flow nice metas.. acouple missed to me but thats jus me... Nice to see u working thru ur block... 1

I think this was pretty solid. You're flow was on point, you had some great imagery and vocabulary mixed in there. There was emotion present too, which shows you didnt just write this to be writing this. I think maybe you could add some wordplay in a piece like this to put more creativity into the piece, and give the reader more to read into than just the piece itself. I like this, though, and I think you could have expanded on it into a really fantastic piece. Nice job fammo. Keep dropping. One.

I didn't really like the beginning, I don't, it just threw me off a bit
but the rest came together smoothly, nice lil' drop, had some dope lines
your flow is on point as usual, nice to see you dropping again man
this was cool even though it was mixed and matched together, which I can't do
so you really had something going for yourself my dude, keep writing!