Hip Hop Forum

My mind is beyond its mystic/infested with sick thoughts that are twisted/experienced my whole life time before i existed/now take this for instance/that ill murk a nigga in a instant/now u would think the brain cant go far of its mentality/and having u think that fiction will turn into reality/my brain cells are way gone of its normality/to strangle someone with brutality/and finish them with fatality/im hear on this earth to survive the growth of its vitality/thats why half of these haters is mad at me/cuz the bars will go threw time itself n the solar gravity/these niggas talk to sweet like they cant catch cavitys/with ur rented rhymes/cant compare it to my demented mind/cuz im just one of a kind/to stay on the block n get on the grind/my state of mind/was designed/to unwind/the hands of time/of mankind/and take back what was mine/and leave it behind/the anger that build up inside/was the reason that my heart died/so i got commited and made the streets my bride/and any nigga that was in her i wouldnt let em slide/so thats the reason why i gotta demented mind.

It was good in the begining. However, the middle sounded like what I use to hear during recess in elementary. Overall it was good though. Nice work.

Structure like this much easier to read. And if your typing this in an instant message window. Thats just wrong. Lol. Nice job I liked the piece. The scheme was pretty simple, but the thoughts weren't so much. Good job. Will be looking for your elevation. Stay active on the site, and join the tournament.

My mind is beyond its mystic/
infested with sick thoughts that are twisted/
experienced my whole life time before i existed/
now take this for instance/
that ill murk a nigga in a instant/
now u would think the brain cant go far of its mentality/
and having u think that fiction will turn into reality/
my brain cells are way gone of its normality/
to strangle someone with brutality/
and finish them with fatality/
im hear on this earth to survive the growth of its vitality/
thats why half of these haters is mad at me/
cuz the bars will go threw time itself n the solar gravity/
these niggas talk to sweet like they cant catch cavitys/
with ur rented rhymes/cant compare it to my demented mind/
cuz im just one of a kind/
to stay on the block n get on the grind/
my state of mind/was designed/to unwind/
the hands of time/of mankind/and take back what was mine/
and leave it behind/the anger that build up inside/
was the reason that my heart died/
so i got commited and made the streets my bride/
and any nigga that was in her i wouldnt let em slide/
so thats the reason why i gotta demented mind.

this was pretty wack

The beginning was nice man, but as the verse went on it kinda dropped a level, if ya know what I mean. If u manage to keep on the quality u had at first, then shit's gonna be tiight;)