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ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya'll

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:09 am
by Ekim B
sorta slaughter all my audibles, in honorable fashion/
sonic flow passin, all semi monotone rappers/
quiet, is not where im aimin, im loud as horn/
out a foreign land, im undoubtetly stormin/
like a monsoon, im on the moon level projectin/
protectin the new section you couldnt do at yur bestest/
best whatever i test the alphabet like a drill sarg/
to fill margins with ill attitudes like bill maher/
tha ill arsonistic instinct to burn compitition/
im a contridiction to badly writtin composition/
a raw tradition of spit kickin and real rap/
you feel that, like your skin got ripped and pealed back/
a victim im not, herd im not gonna follow suit/
of all the crews spittin im siftin, through all of you/
i follow through with threats, dusk to dawn like clooney/
involved in looney plots to blow up like shiite and sunnis/
like kites i movin heights above the rest of the pack/
im destined to map lesson for the rest of the class/

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:11 am
by Orfadox
Yeah man that was aiight still nice flow good drop dude

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:21 am
by Kau the Lion
Flow was tight. Never fell off. Vocab was pretty good too. Good multies. A good intro to your lyrical abilities.

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:28 am
by AntiMaTTer
nice shit, i was digging it

sorta slaughter all my audibles, in honorable fashion/
sonic flow passin, all semi monotone rappers/
as far as the "cleanliness" of the multis they were off, but the syllables match and i can make this easily rhyme when i read it, just saying some might say

"FASHION and RAPPER" dont rhyme cuz it dont end with ER or ION, but, the consonants rhyme

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:04 am
by QwarterZ
This was decent for what it was...
kind of screams DON'T READ ME at the same time
which I didn't, but since it's still here
I think I'll peep it, nice lil' vibe
got a smooth lil' flow attached to it...
needs a lil' more focus on what's being executed
doesn't come off like anything special
just a key, you need to formulate a slick style to it
give a lil' more character brah...keep writing

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 11:48 pm
by IntrinsicCadence
Nice man, I'll like the consistent internal rhyming ya got in this piece. You got some nice metaphors. The only parts I didn't like as much were the 'bestest' thing, and the clooney/sunnis lines, but otherwise I thought this was real solid. Hope you stick around and post some more shit...

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 4:44 am
by TheNobleOne
the flow was a little off here and there but it was a pretty solid drop. just work on tightening your shit up homie. holla.

Re: ekim b's first post on this site, give some feed back ya

Posted: Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:53 am
by FlipSide
This was a pretty descent drop to be your first on here...welcome to illest n stay active..