Success

[pablo1212]

-Picking up my tools is the way that I got started/
-Slowly started loving the game when I put my heart in/
-Feeding off my verses so never was I starving/
-Never did I quit , I kept going like Favre did/
-I was gettin far in , regarding , my verses/
-Cause this curse to be the best was only harmin/
-Rappers stealing bread and the carrots I was farming/
-Im bringing in the snakes , & eating rabbits from the garden/
-Its impossible to pass these brick hard , raised walls/
-I was different in the past , but threw a change-up like baseball/
-I was bench , but now i make calls , like listen to me/
-Im way to nice to be spitting for free/
-I know you'll be missing me, im lyrically artistaclly/
-Paint pictures in your head , have you listen to me visually/
-But overall hard work got me close to all these far things/
-I just keep on pushing and pulling like guitar strings/

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

[Momeijah]

Last bar was dope. It was alright for what it was, never had a problem with following the flow and the rhymescheme, but it was all pretty simple - nothing new said. With these drops it's better to spice things up with more similes and mettas (which u had, just not too much of) and punches. I don't have any real complaints though, it was simple, straightforward and u got ur point across. Keep droppin, I'd like to see what ur capable of.

[pablo1212]

Yeah, mines is pretty simple compared to other writtens iv'e seen. But thanks for the feedback

[complexity]

Seems you have a good grasp at how to use metaphors though. And grammatically you're on point which is more than we can say about some people.

Keep doing your thing.

"-Its impossible to pass these brick hard , raised walls/
-I was different in the past , but threw a change-up like baseball/"


Cool line.

[QwarterZ]

This one was better then the other drop I seen
it stood out more and didn't seem like something you typed up on your phone
the other one seems like just a bunch of random lines saved up to use
but this one actually comes meshed together nicely, nice drop

[pablo1212]

I appreciate the feedback ... thanks.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]