Hip Hop Forum

my fast is moven so obscure you losen my mania toss weight like a gladiator eats fake but neva raw.....my cook chief a potatoe and have you seat at a stawl connect you to mc broth and flip corn roast in the morning to have it in the booth by brunch.chinese pronounce it yoyall...have you in the encline my devine go scripture hard when my elevation cause constipation to drip drop hesitation when its time for you to spit you got no toilet roll yet for your but to whip......my stamina go everclear...sit you near and have you in fear...botox and d tox is the natural value of it all to the fragrance might be merry janey fogg...to still be whooping..like its a stance...its a dream from a uncontiouse peep mcee and in ya mind and in ya pants....

Well you got good imagination and creativity. The structure, however was confusing, try writing ur bars like:

blablabla bla bla bla blablabla //
blablabla bla bla bla blablabla //

Aside from that u need to work on rhymeschemes and content because a lot of the time it was like ur drop just spilled out and started jumping all over the place. Make it more organized, keep to the topic and use ur creativity that way, cause u have potential. Keep droppin.

K this piece really didn't stand out as anything like WOW
that mu'fucker going to do some shit that he did
your name kinda throws me off as well, why skid? I don't know?
maybe it's cuz your slippin' a bit with what your writing
let's be serious some of the shit you say didn't come together nicely
I didn't know what was a rhyme and where you ended
I didn't know what the title had to do with this at all?
you are mad confusing.....I like your style

^^ Agreed. It was like reading one sentence that was super fucking crazy long and never had an end to it like a gaping black hole that just sat there eating nachos and watching sports while flipping the remote with its left hand...

It made no damn sense to me.

Sorry for the freepost but ^^^ lmfao

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