Hip Hop Forum

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Beg ya forgiveness for the interruption of mindstates
I'm late, as though a victim to rush hour and crime rates
left me irrate, cuz I can't figure out the twist in you
pissed since you seem to know better..well...didn't you
I'm one to believe the imagery you put upon my mind
and all the things both of us have so long defined
see I'm not one to play the fool, nor portray the use
instead of saving you, I should've left and slayed dispute
you proclaimed the bravest troops fought just to lay with you
well I never fought a war, physically, emotionally I may just do
but the fact you think I'm a lesser individual makes love true
cuz I will lay my life for you, on the tracks of the rollercoaster
I'll hold a holster, with a infinite amount of rounds
there isn't a world that I wouldn't try to profound right now
I'm a merchanary, carryin' a sword with all types of materia
sorry that's how it is, fantasy's become factors and criteria
they become anything possibly if given the chance too
there's few things in this world that's non fiction to grasp you
so I resort to a rose, growin' in the desert, a petal fallin'
that would get picked if ever it crossed this mental...crawlin'
to the highest plateau, ya'know, love with endless possibilities
I can only portray so much, when you befriended anamolies
I would break down cell structures, bring back your lovin' parents
but I awake from my dreams, and all reality...becomes apparent

Beg ya forgiveness for the interruption of mindstates
I'm late, as though a victim to rush hour and crime rates

firm

left me irrate, cuz I can't figure out the twist in you
pissed since you seem to know better..well...didn't you

moving along good

I'm one to believe the imagery you put upon my mind
and all the things both of us have so long defined

keeping it up

see I'm not one to play the fool, nor portray the use
instead of saving you, I should've left and slayed dispute

still.

you proclaimed the bravest troops fought just to lay with you
well I never fought a war, physically, emotionally I may just do

Iffy.

but the fact you think I'm a lesser individual makes love true
cuz I will lay my life for you, on the tracks of the rollercoaster
I'll hold a holster, with a infinite amount of rounds
there isn't a world that I wouldn't try to profound right now

Picked back up.

I'm a merchanary, carryin' a sword with all types of materia
sorry that's how it is, fantasy's become factors and criteria
they become anything possibly if given the chance too
there's few things in this world that's non fiction to grasp you

lol I like the last line.

so I resort to a rose, growin' in the desert, a petal fallin'
that would get picked if ever it crossed this mental...crawlin'

Has potential, but if it already fell you couldn't pick it, unless I'm missing something.

to the highest plateau, ya'know, love with endless possibilities
I can only portray so much, when you befriended anamolies
I would break down cell structures, bring back your lovin' parents
but I awake from my dreams, and all reality...becomes apparent

Decent way to close it.

Overall this piece was solid & you kept up, went iffy here n there but you managed to Pull through, I like


but the fact you think I'm a lesser individual makes love true
cuz I will lay my life for you, on the tracks of the rollercoaster
I'll hold a holster, with a infinite amount of rounds
there isn't a world that I wouldn't try to profound right now << This

the most, Keep dropping n Keep it up

good shit

I'm a merchanary, carryin' a sword with all types of materia
sorry that's how it is, fantasy's become factors and criteria

the materia and fantasy, i peeped that, cool

I like this Q, but like most of your drops I feel it could use a bit of polish. You definitely got a writing talent, and you've got a lot to say, and you've got a smooth way of expressin yourself, but I think if you put a bit more time into each of your writtens you could really enhance the quality. You've got quantity down no problem, I'd just suggest slowing up a bit on how often your writing something new and instead spend a bit more time making some of your better current writtens really the best they can be. I used to, just like you, make all sorts of new writtens on the daily, but then when I started to put them together as audio, I realized there was only a small handful I was really feeling. After that I started to slow myself down on writin new shit and instead focused on each piece more fully. Since that time I feel the writtens I'm puttin together for audio have really advanced a lot. You might benefit from that kind of plan...

see I'm not one to play the fool, nor portray the use
instead of saving you, I should've left and slayed dispute

Descent Flow Here...Crazy How u Make It Seem Ez..And Just Appear To Write What Ever U Feel And Still Make It A Good Flowing Read...

Ok Ok It Got Busy At Work So Im Not Gonna Do My Usual Quotes.. But I Have To Say I Slept On Ur Drops For A While Cuz U Flooded The Section.. Tho It Is Refreshing To Read A Good Piece.. .And When I Need One I Just Look For One Of Ur Drops.. Tho I Still Think U Soft In Da Heart... since most ur pieces are about u seeking a love thats with held from u.... tho its kind of relatable. The Flow And Word Play Was For Most The Verse Pretty Solid... Another Good Drop Here..