Hip Hop Forum

This is the second verse of a song that I did a few weeks ago, I just wanted some feedback on the lyrics.

Feeding Like An Animal, Stuck Living Rotten Flesh,
Feeding Like A Cannibal, I'm Lucky If I Gotten Rest,
Defeating All My Rivals You Will Put Me Down In History,
This Is My Survival I Am Living In This Misery,
Living In This Fantasy, Everything Is A Mystery,
Where Is My Humanity, I Bet It Is Missing Me,
Screaming At These Walls, While I'm Cutting At My Wrist,
As My Soul, Slowly Falls, How Did It Come To This,
The Blood Drains Down, And I Start To Feel Hollow,
My Heart Starts To Drown As I Sip From The Bottle,
I Hallucinate, I Feel Real, Life Is Too Fake,
Too Much On My Plate To Deal, So Another Sip I Take,
I'm A Rapper, I Am Dope, Lets Be Honest I Am Not,
I'm A Scrapper, I Choke, I Promise I Cannot,
Be, What You See In My Fantasy, Everything Makes Me Flee
Underneath My Canopy.

The Blood Drains Down, And I Start To Feel Hollow,
My Heart Starts To Drown As I Sip From The Bottle,
I Hallucinate, I Feel Real, Life Is Too Fake,
Too Much On My Plate To Deal, So Another Sip I Take,

^ My favourite lines, especially the 3rd one.

I could tell this was for audio I followed the flow no problemo, that rhymescheme ur using is dope. I wouldn't mind seeing the 1st verse aswell.

Good Lookin out cuz. yeah the full track is on my reverb page.
http://www.reverbnation.com/proverseidy

I was feelin' the rhymescheme, you executed it nice and stayed on point all the way throughout the verse, props on having an even 16 bars, that's a sign of professionalism, overall solid verse, can't hate on shit.

Good looking out on the feedback man. I'll be sure to leave both of you some feed asap.