Law & Order (Especially Violent Unit) Act 1:Scene 1 & 2

[aLb]

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate but equally important groups: the police who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. Sometimes these crimes are pretty damn violent and require especially trained dumbass detectives and slutty district attorneys who slept their way to the top. These are their stories."
**BOOM-BOOM**

Scene 1: CSI is finishing their investigation and wrapping up the body of a young male stretched out on the sidewalk.

Det Brisko:
Remove the sheet from the body please, We need to examine the wounds
What’s the damage to dude?
:Examiner:
He’s a John Doe, I need to get’em back and tag’em up soon
Det Green:
No gashes or bruisin’, what’s the cause of his death
Examiner:
Appears to be a blunt forced object but ain’t enough of it left
Det Green:
A little blood on his chest but no sight of the entrance
Det Brisko:
Ok, let’s bag’em and tag’em up. Get’em down to forensics
Officer, tape up the sight, make sure we scourer this good
Det Green:
There’s some apartments nearby let’s check around in his hood
See if they heard a thing
Det Brisko:
Yea they probably wont.
And no signs of the murder weapon
Det Green:
Yea it’s probably gone
Det Brisko:
Man the evidence is slim, might want to start with a motive
Det Green:
Hold on, check this out, I think I’m seeing signs of explosives
You see this residue here and it’s trajectory angle
Det Brisko:
And what the fuk is this? Looks like a piece of his finger mangled
Det Green:
Means the aftermath was a blast ‘splains the scattered blood we found
Det Briskoa:
If there was a blast detective then there had to be sound
Det Green:
And where there’s sounds there’s witnesses. There’s gotta be one
Det Brisko:
And there’s a 7-11 Convenient store, right out front

Scene 2 **At the 7-11**

Det Brisko:
We’re investigating a homicide outside of this site
Habib did you see anything suspicious last night
Habib:
I saw a gang of men and women circled outside of my store
So I grabbed my bat under the counter and headed straight for the door
One of them saw me coming and the fukin’ bastards scattered
But not before I heard a “BOOM” around the place where they gathered
Det Green:
Was it the sound of a gun?
Habib:
No, more like the sound of dymanite blown
Det Brisko:
How would you know about that?
Habib:
Haha, I used to use it at home
Nevertheless, it left a mess
Det Green:
Thanks for cooperating Habib
Habib:
Also I saw big black guy standing over the body
Out of all the men around, he looked the hardest
I can describe him in a minute
Det Brisko:
Good we’ll bring in a sketch artist
Meanwhile, stick around, free your schedule, don’t get tied up
Cause when we catch the perp, you can pick him out in a line up
Det Green:
Anything else you recall, maybe a name for the file
Habib:
Well one of them grabbed the big one and said “Let’s get the fuk out here AL”
Det Brisko:
You did a hellova job Habib, now get this place clean
With shit all over the floor, smells worse than the murder scene.
Det Green:
There’s only one AL I know and I like him for this
Det Brisko:
Yea I remember that kid, didn’t he do a Rikers bid?
Det Green:
Sentence reduced to Manslaughter 1, he might be out on parole
Det Brisko:
Let’s pick him up for questioning and see what the fucker knows…

**BOOM-BOOM (fade to black)**

To be continued...

[DaPrince]

Damn, I had an idea to do something like this but the dialogue aspect was mad creative. It flowed pretty well and I was more focused on the story than paying attention to multi's and such. Overall I liked it, and I'm waiting for Act 2.

[aLb]

Glad u liked it Prince. Stay tuned for Act 2 Scene 3 & 4 "Interrogation and Arraignment".

[Momeijah]

Cool I had no problem following the story lol there was a lot of comic relief in there like the intro and the middle eastern dude in 7/11 who used dynamite haha.

The conversations looked natural for the most part, a couple robotic parts here and there but the shit was on point. Flow and rhymes were all upto par and the imagery was nice. Lookin forward to the next one.

[Kuhlerblynd]

Man, I must admit I really like this idea and the way you made everything come together. I agree with Moe though, some of it seemed robotic, like forced. Those parts happened more in the first scene than in the second IMO. The part where Habib says he did it at home had me fucking rolling. The flow was on point, I liked the imagery, and this was well worth the read. Uppin for the second installment.

One.

[FlipSide]

I Read it earlier and i must say this was def entertaining... madd busy or id leave more feed

[Slicka]

thought this was out the ordinary so i liked it.......like the style of it and how you put everything together........couple parts made me chuckle nice work

[aLb]

Moe, Murk, Slicka, Flip.. thanks for checking it out. I wanted it to be entertaining and suspenseful to set everything up for the next episode. Hope you enjoy the rest after I finish focusing on the Topical Tourney.

As for B.G. (no comment)

[Phasewon]

Creative shit, rhymescheme was simple but the unique concept overshadows that anyway.

"Habib:
No, more like the sound of dymanite blown
Det Brisko:
How would you know about that?
Habib:
Haha, I used to use it at home"

^haha, nice shit, keep 'em coming.

[aLb]

As for B.G. (no comment)

lol fucking snitch learn how to spit some crack instead of talking about arresting niggas you grandpaw off boondocks no pussy gettin lookin ass bitch

HOT DAMN HO shutdafukup!

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVphuKBla3Q[/video]