Hip Hop Forum

This is my first post in this thread , so positive feedback & criticism is much appreciated .
I wrote this song about this dude who used to be my best friend,
but his girl attempted to fuck me & I Turned her down cause I don't get down like that ; but apparently she ain't like it & told him that I tried to fuck her , & now he's on a mission to destroy my reputation with our gang/team ... & for some of you that don't know i'm only 16 .. figured I should throw that in there lol..



Positive feed back please & thank you .[/right]

so now he want the fair one, but I don't think its fair son //
cause the nigga was so close, that we could shared the same lung //

best bar of the drop my opinion, sucks to be you right now tho. ive had it in the past mate. if hes real he'll come back after he has carmed down and talk about it.

right onto the drop, some nice work. written for audio i guess, the flow is on point. with use of some good imagery and vocab it could lift this drop. try not rhyming it with it and it, in future tho that makes the unapealing to read and most of the time boring.only other thing i would advise is making the font bigger as its not that clear.

keep droppin, keep elevatin,

peace

I thought this shit was nice. Simple delivery but executed cleanly and sprinkled with some multies and decent rhyme schemes. The topic was solid, I liked the wording of some of your lines. Some solid shit all around.

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this was ok not too amazing as far as flow goes but the story was cool...I mean shit is bound to happen regardless of what goes on...I went through the same shit and you have a better grasp of whats going on around you then I did back then which makes more sense pretty good stuff..I dont think the hook was the greatest ever but it works for you...keep writing man

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Man I was really feeling that shit, especially the 1st 3 bars. I think everyone would be able to relate to that. Good message and I'm glad u didn't over complicate it n shit cause the simple execution was it's strongest point to me. Flow was dope, I had no problem with the rhymes either, keep dropping.

And at 1st I thought this was gonna be a remix of the Taio Cruz song baha.