Hip Hop Forum

Oh how i hate the minute when I know that the day is finished/
The rage is inches away, I see the bed with you layin in it/
Its a reminder of how I know you'll never stay committed/
I toss and turn, wide awake trying to shake the image/
Of you naked with him,
Its too late to escape the feeling/
When everytime I look up the scene plays and paints the ceiling/
If the pain was healing or the scrapes were softer, maybe I'd take your offer/
But I've paid the cost, now there's no way to tame this monster/
I wouldn't waste the gauze, the cut's too deep to wrap and bandage/
How can I look past the damage when i'm branded with scars that haven't vanished/
I shouldn't have to manage, I shouldn't learn to turn a cheek/
Just to preserve the piece that wasn't burned to the third degree/
Now it hurts to sleep, feel like i'm on a bed of nails/
Head impaled, knowing our relationship will never sail/
It was set to fail, destined to die and decompose/
I guess it was a lesson in life, but the question is why I need to know/

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Damn dude, I'm jealous of your ability to keep the rhyme scheme consistent in every line, yet shift it just when it needs to be shifted.

I don't know if this is a topic piece or based on somethin really goin on with ya right now, if its not a topical, shitty.

Whenever I read your drops one of the things Sage Francis said in Rugged's interview always comes to mind- the idea that the goal is to make the rhymes feel like the language was created for the purpose of that rhyme, where the rhymes aren't forced at all, but instead where invented with this rhythm in mind. Every time I read your pieces the internal rhythm is close to flawless, and u manage to do it without using forced vocabulary either.

This drop is just straight ill...

Wow, this verse was deep. I hope that isn't a past experience but if so, don't let it define you. Every bar flowed into the next and the emotion in each line was crazy.

Keep droppin and I'll keep reading.

no complaints dude. this was a great read. the rhyming was monstrous, i really liked how everything flowed. good shit...

10/10

This shit was perfectly executed, flow, multies, transitions, all while conveying the message clearly and concisely, ended perfectly, after becoming familiar with your style the only complaint I have is everything is strictly technical and on an A/B basis, which is good and shows technical fundamental skills, but sometimes switching up the rhymescheme and putting a rhyme in the beginning or middle of the bar as opposed to at the end can show versatility and keep the reader/listener on their toes, other than that, ill shit.

Preciate it yall.

ur my favorite writer on this site, easily.

nice job here, multis, flow killed this.

props fam

real rap i agree with scott thats sum audio fire right there forreal ruckus whats holding you back?

Lol just moved to Alaska, tryin to get my life back together, tryin to buy a vehicle, furniture, I've basically started over man. I'll get there, don't worry.

Funny how nails dig into your back while you're facing the ceiling, but nails dig into my back while facing the pillow. Zing!