Hip Hop Forum

I made a promise to ya, and im gunna keep it real/
no more bangin on tha block gunshots or drug deals/
i remember when you passed i burst inta tears/
the only one i could trust wit my secrets thru the years/
when i was sick you were their....wanna let you know i care/
feel the presence of ya soul you never left your still here/
you'll neva be forgotten just reserved in my heart/
its a special place for you no one can take ya spot/
nothin can make me happy still havin all these thoughts/
can't believe that your gone in my mind n soul im lost/
i look up at the stars i know thats where you are/
but it still hurts inside with you gone its so hard/
cant believe that it happend but im prayin up ta god/
everyday i think of you its neva gunna stop/
you maybe gone but alive in memory/
i love ya its time ta let you rest in peace/

audio version coming soon going to upload the beat so you can hear it when you readin it this is jus verse 1

was a nice little drop, basic rhyme scheme imo, but for memorial peaces the emotions impact and stand out more. the only thing i could probably say is to increase imagery in the drop. ive just had my dad die and i did a verse like this ill post it on here but i felt after that i could have done better. so if you wanna do a collab on this im down.

keep elevating tho.

peace

yeah i got 2 verses written........the 3rd verse is open if you want on the track

i liked the beat, i wasnt fond of the sample, but your lyrics are nice, good verse so far, the collab should be sick..

This is real shit and that's impossible to hate on, smooth easy flow to match a smooth easy beat, but it's 2010 and you're still not up on double syllables? The message tip was nice but I'd suggest searching a lil deeper for those rhymes.

This was more emotionally driven then it was trying to show lyrical prowess which is cool...but I think you held back on your emotion a bit I mean when people express themselves like this they get real in depth on their pain which I felt you just went reeeeeal tip of the ice berg with...if u know what I mean nonetheless it was a cool lil drop my dude...cant wait to hear the collab it may translate better then the written

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thanks i appreciate the feed ^

I like it I look forward to hearing the audio because it had a nice flow. Like everyone else said it was just straight from the heart and it was easy to tell, I love pieces like these it's always interesting to see how emotion translates into words.

for ppl who wanted to hear wht the vocals would sound like