Hip Hop Forum

to many people in this planet we all call home/
celebrate christmas but what about those all alone//
those less fortunate, those who dont get the feast/
its a time for giving but humanity is a sick beast//
those starving or homeless just get the cold and shame/
a pain in the stomachs of many in the freezing rain//
many complain they didnt get what they wanted given/
to them, when the souls are decetfull and evil ridden//
its not what was given, its the thought that counts/
stress free time of year, that hurts like boxing bouts//
just sit down and think, we celebrate the birth of jesus/
a guy with no grudges, who died on the cross for all of us//
so we could better ourselfs,but some dont get the oppatunity/
ill just spit on behalf of the less fortunate of our comunity//
so when your sat there opening presents spare a thought/
to the ones whos dream is family the are bound to sought/
for,but ill wrap this up and stick the lesson uder the illest christmas tree/
dont take life for granted, as things can happen that neither you or me can forsee//

Played subject, and it was average up until:

just sit down and think, we celebrate the birth of jesus/
a guy with no grudges, who died on the cross for all of us//

That bar made the drop and greatly helped it come together. Until then there were a lot of swings and misses to me personally, like lines I started off with high hopes then felt let down with in the end. But the bar I quoted did a good job explaining ur mentality, and the rest of the drop was a lot better than the 1st half to me. Still, not bad at all man.

thanks moe

Concept was cool but I've seen it times before not sayin it was bad just played out I think u could have put a lil more feeling behind it give ppl a visual description but good shit overall

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Not bad, a lot better than your last one. Keep working at it.