Hip Hop Forum

Livin in the past brings nothing but pain.
Remember all the memories and relive the shame.
Left me clinically insane, No where to escape.
Seemed like society had sealed my fate.
To live on filled with hate. Bitter at the world for my bad hand.
Filled with self-pity no one last stand.
To get my life together, no house on sand. Couldn’t control,
The habits I formed, demons seemed to always patrol.
Only in my dreams was I not insane, pray to the lord.
To forgive my sins, that cause me to steal and continue to horde.
For which I know only sharpens the sword, that keeps on pressing into your heart.
Unfortunately the path I chose will end up badly before its start.
My life increased in concavity the past few years.
With nothing left I prayed with tears,
To make my head ever clear, and wake up from the fallacy.
That to live my life I needed this alternate reality.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Dope drop. To be honest it read more like poetry than rap. Ur flows a little shaky, some good rhyme crossovers though. Keep writing and dropping, maybe some audio to hear ur style. All in all a decent read,but an improvement from ur previous one. Thumbs up

[ Post made via BRAIN ]

millllerrr my man, dope drop would love to hear audio??

i like this bro. def a poetic style but i dig your choice of adjectives. hard to flow but maybe its how im reading it. nice drop man cant wait to read more.

I liked the descriptions you had throughout the verse. Nice vocab in some places. The flow was off so it read more like spoken word. Nice feel to it though.

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah I still need to work on my flow.. And hopefully I'll start doing a little audio to practice once I find a mic.